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There's no answer

5 replies

user1468987371 · 14/09/2017 01:04

I am Chinese and my husband is English, I am not very good at English but I will try my best to explain. I had a girlfriend who I met while I was traveling a few years ago, by then I was single. We traveled together few times and we felt we understood each other, she is from Germany. Our friendship last for few years I always mention her to my husband how awesome she is after I got married. When my son was three months old she came to visit us with her boyfriend. 3 days later she and her boyfriend had a fight, he left. Then things got wired, the next morning, when I woke up she was sitting at the table has only a big men's shirt with top few buttons opening showing her a lot part of her breast and bottom with a triangle underwear, that's all she had on her and loosely. I felt uncomfortable but I thought coz there's cultural difference. We all sat down at the table and my husband sat at the table against her, which made me feel quite uncomfortable as well. We had breakfast then I was taking baby out for a walk partly also want to leave the house and I know my husband needed to go to work at that point. We started to pack stuff get baby ready, my husband also gathered his bag and putting his shoes on and we were walking towards the door and said goodbye to her, while I was just pushed prim outside the door, my husband with shoes on, bag for work in his hand, shut the door in front of my face, he said nothing but just shut me outside the door. I was shocked but I was too stupid I should have knocked the door and ask him what's going on and why he shut me outside, and he was suppose to leave for work! Instead I walked downstairs with all kinds of thinking like I should trust him, and she is my best friend, I think too much and I am a jealousy woman...while on the ground floor just outside the apartment some old ladies we knew stopped us and played with my son, like they always did, I was also with too much things going on my mind so I stood there racing my mind thinking should I go back or not...about 15 minutes later my husband came downstairs and he was surprised to see me and with upset in his eyes, he walked passed me said goodbye without stop and immediately walked away.
That night I asked him, you were supposed to go with me why you did that?
He said he was cleaning the ice from freezer.
Did you talk with her?
No

Another time I asked him, said I still don't understand, that's strange you did that. And that's a long time up there.
He said I cleaned the freezer coz I said there's too much ice and I did chart a little bit with her.

Third time he answered he was cleaning the trash and he did not talk with her at all.

Then I told him you are changing your answers.
He said he just forgot what he did.

I know I am stupid and I didn't either completely trust him and also I didn't do any reaction to solve the problem from the beginning and I deserve these doubt on mind. what had happened is not important now but I started to not trust him from then on...
And my friend , she was wired too and that day after I walked mg baby when I was back home, she had her normal clothes on, properly dressed at my home. She changed her clothes though she wasn't trying to go out.
Might be totally nothing had happened. I was just too stupid and think too much. And there's no answer anyway coz he doesn't remember and he think it's nothing important.

OP posts:
Jellyheadbang · 14/09/2017 01:34

Poor you. What a horrible way to treat you. Has he done this before?
Why couldn't you confront him when you left the house together and he wasn't talking to you?
It's sounds unnerving and anxiety provoking.
Why would he just turn round and go back in to sort the freezer?
Has he done weird stuff before?

user1468987371 · 14/09/2017 02:37

He is a good husband and a good father except something like that few times, and there's no answer too. One time is all the families were invited to his company Christmas party, he just told me if I want to go I am ALLOWED to. I asked him why the invitation sounds not right, he answered coz his boss said so. His colleague's wife texted me and asked me why I didn't join the party from the party. I don't think everyone else was been told was just allowed to go.
He said he doesn't remember why he said in that way.
Another time he was out to have a drink with a friend who is a guy I knew well and he did looking into mirror for a long time dressed up, perfumed, he normally doesn't wear perfume. My instinct told me there's someone else there, a girl, and from Christmas party since, I knew there's a girl,coz he always avoided to let me meet his colleagues, in the middle night I called him while he was still drinking outside, he told me in a really uncomfortable voice said a female colleague she is there too. I had no bad impression of her before but all his wired behavior make sense. Won't be a problem if he is drinking with a female colleague, the problem is the excitement before meet her and the hide.
We moved out from that city now...
He cares more about me and baby...
Just sometimes things happened he can't even make good excuse...

OP posts:
user1468987371 · 14/09/2017 02:40

I should have confronted him at the moment, I wish I did, and I wish I will do in future too, I am a coward and I was confused and shocked too.

OP posts:
user1468987371 · 14/09/2017 02:42

I want a happy life and trying to have a healthy mind. We are happy most of the time and I love him. I know I am a jealous woman and I often think too much. So, I often start to criticize myself first...

OP posts:
Apileofballyhoo · 14/09/2017 19:18

Those things you have described seem weird to me too OP.

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