couples counseling - is it worth the money?

[hesanidiot]

I had a previous thread. DH had an emotional affair which I found out about recently. He wanted to stay, I wasn't sure. we both thought counseling would help us split amicably or work out if we had anything left.

BUT I don't really know what couples counseling is. We have done a lot of work on our relationship and are talking a lot and having good sex. It's all quite a cliche but there are the usual stresses on a relationship: kids, money, bereavement etc. Some of which we have dealt with well, some not so much. We are not flush with cash and have some debts. We can afford the £65 for a session but it could also be put towards a weekend away without the kids (first time in 15 years). What will we get from the counseling?

We aren't in london but could get there. Has anyone used a counselor that they could recommend? I'd hate to spend the money and find I was talking to my mum or equivalent.

I think if you're talking a lot and having good sex, counselling probably won't help. It's a way to get through communication problems, mostly, when they are a barrier to you exploring what you want from your relationship and whether you can carry on.

I don't know - there's always space for having a time every week to focus on your relationship, but if you are good at talking and listening, you could spend the £65 going out for dinner and doing that.

Thanks. one of us is good at talking, the other at listening but we're working on it! I kind of feel like we are doing everything that counseling seems to offer but maybe if we reach a blocker it would be good at that point?

Like the idea of a weekly dinner/date that would be more fun than counseling anyway.