Anyone ever found it extremely difficult to get over an ex? :(

[TabooToCrow]

My ex left me last year. November. Ghosted me completely and as we lived very far apart I never got to say goodbye and everything was left open. I even travelled to see her just to leave things a better way but she refused to see me. I was heartbroken. Utterly heartbroken.

Since I very unexpectedly met my new partner. I wasn't looking. It just happened. And she is wonderful. My previous relationship was abusive and just... terrible. This relationship is everything it should be and she loves me to pieces, as I do her.

But I just can't get my ex out of my thoughts. I still miss her. There is no chance of even the smallest communication so I'm not holding out in any way. I know deep down she was so bad for me and it was toxic but in a way that toxicity and limerance has filtered through, even now.

Believe me if I could switch it off I would bite someone's hand off at the chance. I hate it.

But songs, shops, restaurants, outfits all still remind me of her and sometimes I still cry myself to sleep over what happened and the fact we were friends for so long (4 years) I still wish I could speak to her about stuff.

I got with my new GF in March and i didn't look for her. It just happened and in a big way she saved me. It wasn't a rebound. I'm not that type of girl. I love her. I want to marry her someday but I don't know how to rest the demons I still have with my ex.

Hey!
I really struggled when my ex left me last year
It was completely out of the blue. Came home from a night at a friends & he just said 'I'm moving out today.'

Honestly the only thing that helped me personally was writing everything down. Literally everything I felt toward him, about the situation, our relationship etc. I wrote it with absolutely no barriers and as if I was telling him exactly what I thought (and giving him a piece of my mind in the process!)
This definitely helped me. It went on for pages and pages but I felt relieved at the end. I also had therapy and saw my therapist for about 6-7 months after, this helped me massively. I saw him around 17 months after we split and felt some things for him, I sort of missed his smile and the way he spoke but quickly realised everything I'd written down was true and I still thought it. When I got home after seeing him that day I realised I didn't still love him at all. Something I genuinely thought I'd struggle with forever. I really thought I'd always hurt but I don't anymore.

Sorry for rambling!

Yes. Took me the best part of two years. I had no closure, so many questions unanswered. That was over eight years ago. I am with someone else, and he is now married.

I still think of him, but know deep down it was for the best. I don't need answers anymore, and I have accepted what happened, that's all I needed for my mental wellbeing.

Good luck OP