New soon to be mum seeking advise

[Ablythe2804]

Seeking advise, hopefully you Mum's can help me!

I have recently found out I'm pregnant, I have known my boyfriend years but only have been dating him for 5 months, so the pregnancy has obviously come as a massive shock. I have come around to the idea and am now very excited to welcome a baby next year. But my boyfriend's friend reaction was to have an abortion

He is from India and is only here on a student visa, he will return home in November and probably will not return to the UK for 2-3 years. He says he doesn't want anything to do with our baby once he goes back to India

My issue is;
If my boyfriend changes his mind about staying with the baby and being part of their life, does he have any rights to take our baby out of the country to India without my permission?

I'd also love to hear how people cope without a father figure in the child's life from a young age?

I'm a young Mum and my parents are concerned that my child will grow up to ask a lot of questions. I am a white woman and my child will be mixed race, without a father figure they feel I might struggle.

Seeking advise and comfort. Any reply's would be greatly appreciated

Congratulations!

I wouldn't think so but I would name the baby with your surname and not his. If you do this I can not see any possibility that he can take baby abroad as passport will of course have your family name and not his.

I'm sure someone with proper knowledge will come along shortly though!

And you absolutely WILL cope!

You can go to court and get a court order which prevents him from taking the child abroad without your consent. Alternatively if he is not named on the birth certificate which as you aren't married and he isn't going to be around to register the birth I personally just wouldn't put him on the birth certificate meaning he would need to go to court to get parental rights.

I grew up without my dad. He passed away when I was a baby and my mum never re partnered. I always knew where I stood, who my dad was and knew my identity. I can't remember my mum telling me my dad was dead but it was something I always knew IYSWIM probably because i was too young to remember having asked.

Don't put his name on the birth certificate and give the baby your surname. My son doesn't know his Dad and began noticing around 2 years old. I think because of nursery. I just say his Dad doesn't live near us which is true and not all families have both parents. That's been accepted so far.

Congratulations OP. I agree with poster above not to put his name on the birth certificate. You can facilitate a relationship between dad and baby in the future if he wants one (and you feel comfortable) knowing he cant skip country with your baby

I wouldn't have added to his suggestion of an abortion. The pregnancy was an accident and he doesn't want it. It is a valid opinion and suggestion. But once you say that it's not an option for you, then he has to shut up.

I also would not put his name on the birth certificate. Another thing I would do is apply for a passport immediately after birth. This means that you hold the passport and a second one cannot be got by him - although he couldn't do it without a birth certificate, so tbh it's a bit overkill. I'd still do it though.

Congrats on your pregnancy OP!

My biological father was from Bangladesh, he returned home not long after I was born and had an arranged marriage. It is highly frowned upon for men to have a child out of wed-lock and with a white woman, so not many of his family members know about me. I have never resented my DM because from the beginning she told me the truth. And when the time came and he wanted to meet me (I was 15) she completely supported any choice I made.

IMO I don't think you will have to worry about the father trying to take your baby out of the country, because unfortunately I highly doubt he will be telling his family about you guys. I have no advice on the birth certificate front as my F name is on mine, I also took his last name at birth (later changed by deed poll).

I know I am a bit biased but I have turned out alright being brought up solely by my DM. I couldn't have asked for a better childhood and never really noticed that there was no father figure around.