Husband confessed 12 month affair in May, we're divorcing, have just received decree nisi. Husband now has finished with OW and wants to 'sort something out to stay together' so being passive in divorce arrangements and won't move out at least until finances are sorted and divorce is final.
My kids are 6 and 3. They don't know anything yet, and I think they don't even suspect anything is wrong. I thought initially they are so young that I should only tell them when we can give them firm information about where daddy will live, when he will see them etc. But now I feel very guilty about them being the last to know, worried sick about how this will affect them, and feel like I'm lying to them pretending it's all happy families still when it isn't. Meanwhile H is being much more involved with childcare and house stuff than previously which they enjoy and which I worry is going to make the change even more difficult.
Can anyone share their experience about when to tell the children? Is it better to tell them when he's still here so they can get used to the idea, or to wait until he has accommodation and is moving out? How can young children be helped to understand what is happening whilst minimising the upset?
TIA