Silence is deafening

[KC11]

I'm being ignored by my DH. It's been over a week now.He has avoided being home when I'm there. If I text him he mostly ignores it. Or answers 12 hours later. He is sleeping on the sofa. His choosing. He knows it annoys me. When he leaves for work he leaves curtains closed in the lounge/temporary bedroom. I messaged him earlier to say we need to call it a day on our marriage. It has come to that. 10 hours later he comes home and ignores me.He has not texted me nor acknowledged what I texted. We've had a rocky marriage over the last 7 years. I still hold out hope that we can survive this current problem. I can't communicate with him and I want him to show some feelings.He's switched out of our relationship. I'm left hanging.

I don't believe it's depression, more the way he is.

He doesn't want a grown up conversation where you both discuss issues.He most likely incapable of a mature emotional relationship.
I suspect he will carry on with his approach until you leave.
Stonewalling is a high predictor of divorce. What was his parents marriage like?

Every time you try and communicate with him he wins whatever power game he's playing. Every time you make threats that you don't intend following through on, you hand him more power which only feeds his unpleasantness and prolongs the 'game'.

You can't make him treat you with respect but you can stop exposing yourself to it. Your own MH is at risk if you keep insisting on prioritising someone who treats you as an inconvenience.

Given what you've written about him I suspect that this is his personality and his possible depression has only exaggerated the moreunpleasant aspects of it.

The balls in your court.

I'm still being ignored. He is still in lounge with door closed. I'm sitting kitchen with door wide open. I've cooked and eaten. Fed pets. Got loads of housework to do. It is too late to hoover? Last night he waited until I had gone to bed 12 midnight then he heated some microwave ready meal. Not normal behaviour. What do I do? Call bluff and book estate agent to come and value house? JOKE BTW.

I don't think he's depressed, but there's certainly something very wrong with his behaviour.

I wonder why you love him? Most women would hate someone who treated them like this.

I wouldn't worry about suicide attempts - why would he do that? He's not trying to make it work and panicking about being alone. He's completely ignoring you and making your life very unpleasant.

Do you two have children?

What a terrible life. Can't see why getting the house valued is a joke, sounds sensible to me.

Sorry but I would get my friends ovef for a glass of wine or two. If he's still being a dick with company round you are more likely to see him as others do.
You don't need to pussyfoot around this hideous behaviour.

This is certainly not normal behaviour of a 40 year old man. I would definitely tell his family and friends about it and tell them your concerns about his mental health.

I have 12 people coming over lunchtime Saturday for a macmillan coffee morning. He knows I'm doing it. Been planned for a month. Tomorrow I need to clean the room he's holed up in. He has work tomorrow so hopefully I can do some cleaning before I go to work at 8.30am. I have taken legal advice and I've told him that. I said he needs to get advice as well. I don't know if he has though. I will ask this tonight.

We do not have kids