Anyone got experience of divorce mediation?

[ineedmorethanthis]

What did you think about it? Good? Bad?

DH is insisting we shouldn't use solicitors as 'they will make us hate each other' and has this narrative from his currently divorcing, (bitter) friends.

There are dependent children and one of us brought 20x more money to the relationship and another property. Was inheritance not career income. DH is saying we will def have to sell our family home.

Is mediation likely to deal with this sensibly?

How do you find a 'good' mediator? No one I know has a recommendation.

Even if you use a mediator you will still need a solicitor. Your solicitor may even be able to recommend a mediator

My stbxh and I used a mediator in Surrey. He was excellent. We had an individual initial meeting to explain the process and what they can/cannot do. The first couple of joint meetings were to instruct us to get a full financial disclosure. This data then went to our individual solicitors, appointed as part of a fee package. I also got separate legal advice as well, just to be sure! I was told what to ask for and given a line below where I was told I must not go because, basically, any lower would not be fair and reasonable to a judge.
The main point is that the mediator is there to keep interactions civil at all time. It does work- at one point my husband walked out because basically he did not agree with my request for a slightly larger percentage of the assets to buy myself a property. He is on 20 times my salary. Anyway, the mediator calmed him down and I got what I needed.
You do need to be happy to debate (or argue!) your case with your partner in front of the mediator. I found it quite empowering because I was at last in control of my life. My solicitors were always available to clarify a point and ensure that the settlement was fair and reasonable.
One we reached an agreement for financial settlement, the respective solicitors were instructed to proceed with the divorce and draft the consent order.