AIBU to be pissed off with this flaky man?

[FlakyManAIBU]

I'm not sure if I am being unreasonable due to prior dating experiences or not.

I've been seeing a man for 2 months now. I have a 3 year old son.

There have been a couple of instances where he has cancelled on me at the last minute. The first time we'd made a plan on the Saturday to see each other on the Monday evening. He went to visit some friends (around 2 hours away) that weekend, and didn't mention Monday again until 7pm when he was on the train on Monday on his way back. We both mututally agreed to cancel as it was too late at this point. To be fair to him I didn't mention the Monday over the weekend either, more because I was the one who'd made the initial suggestion and didn't want to push it and seem needy.

The second time he had gone out drinking on the Friday night and invited me over on Saturday morning to see him that evening. I agreed and made plans r.e babysitters, started to get ready... only for him to text at 4pm saying that in hindsight he was too ill to see me.

Today we made loose plans, although we've been trying to see each other all weekend. He texted me this morning saying 'Are you about tonight?'
I replied, 'yes, do you fancy doing something later?'
I got no response all day but had to start getting ready at some point so organised childcare and started getting ready... only for him to text me at 6.30 saying he was too tired. Admittedly these were loose plans and not confirmed but I am still annoyed that he couldn't have text me earlier.

I'm thinking about ringing him up and having a conversation with him about what it means to date a parent (he has no children), and that plans need to be concrete and I need to know what I'm doing...

Do you think I am being unreasonable to him given the circumstances?

TBH, having dated when it was just me (no kids) I'd still find this too flaky to put up with. A man who's interested in spending time with you will make a date and stick to it. This sounds like he's just keeping you hanging in case nothing better shows up. And having put up with it a few times he'll keep doing it to you. Sorry. I don't think he's worth the hassle. Please expect to be treated with at least the same courtesy as you'd treat him was my only motto for dating.

It wouldn't work for me and I don't have children.

This is the time when you're supposed to be making an effort to impress the other person. Instead, he's keeping you hanging on until he decides whether he can be bothered. You're nobody's back up plan. Fuck him off and find someone who can't wait to spend time with you.

Stop wasting your time because he clearly doesn't give a shit. He's a rude twat.

YANBU
He's definitely flakey!
I'd save your breath and don't waste any more time on him, he's messing with your head because he can...he's a dick tbh!
Find someone who really wants to be with you and treat you right because you deserve a lot better than him.

He does not give a SHIT about the effort and the time needed to make arrangements .. including the challenge of organising a childminder ..

He doesn't care atall Lady... find someone worthy of you and your little one x

I'm afraid he's just not that in to you. If he was he would not keep cancelling. Cut your losses now.

Don't bother with this man anymore. He's not making an effort so cut him loose.

This happened to my 15 year old dd yesterday - its rude at best and completely taking the piss at worst. You're an option. Remove yourself from the menu.

He;s just not that into you I'm afraid. Don't allow him to mess you around like this. Take control and either ignore him or text him and tell him its not working.

I feel likeI read this exact post a couple of weeks ago. Have you posted this previously OP ?

Ooh no, I wouldn't put up with that. Get rid.

I haven't posted about this before, no.

I ended up ringing him up and he said he didn't realise, and was sorry... I haven't heard from him since.

I think this is yet again another case of me being more into them then they are into me

You are being normal, don't blame yourself. He is being a test, blame him and move on.

Twat not test!

He's not that into you. It's no reflection on you. Move on and find a man who thinks you're the prize

I could have written that post... I limped along for 4 months giving him the benefit of the doubt (he had young kids, mine are grown). It all got too much tho and I ended things.

We're recently back in touch as friends only and in a recent phone conversation he let slip he was seeing someone else at the same time as me.. Not an outright admission but mentioning timings of events make it obvious to me. It was all over a year ago so I'm not gonna kick up a fuss but even friendship is off the table now.... There's always a reason for flakiness OP

Also I would have run for the hills after being messed about when I had to get a babysitter once only!

Ok, thanks for answering OP, it's just there was a very similar thread quite recently I wondered if it was the same twunt causing more problems.
I agree with : Queenofthedrivensnow Sun 10-Sep-17 22:17:20
YANBU, but move on from this one.

He's not good enough for you. Think of it as a lucky escape!

I'm glad you "told him off" anyway. He was being rude.

Two great books I read when I was single and in a similar situation!

www.amazon.co.uk/Hes-Just-That-Into-Understanding/dp/0007431856/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1505191231&sr=8-2&keywords=hes+just+not+that+into+you&tag=mumsnetforum-21

www.amazon.co.uk/Why-Men-Love-Bitches-Relationship/dp/1580627560/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1505191156&sr=8-1&keywords=why+men+love+bitchs&tag=mumsnetforum-21