Break up with DP - angry with myself mostly...

[Borninatrap]

Yesterday my DC's and I went out with my DP of two years. I don't live with him so he met us there. He proceeded to get in a right grump because he got wet and my DS (9) was being difficult because he had played 3 hours of football in the morning, we had to walk quite far to the place we were visiting and we hadn't had lunch. The walk back DS was whiny because he was tired and hungry. DP shouted at him in public. He was short with DD (6) too because she adores him so was hassling him a bit.

We got food and DS was fine. DP refused to get food (but I bought him a beer to try cheer him up) and kept going on about being cold. We got to the train station to get the train back to mine as had been arranged and he just turned round last minute and said he was going back to his house because he felt ill. I walked off and got on the train home with my DC's. Something snapped in me and I sent him a message to say we were done and blocked his number and on FB.

Over the last two years we have had various issues with his ex, his appalling way with money (I was constantly having to bail him out financially) and he kept saying he would move in but did fuck all about it. There have been issues sexually too (ED), he was addicted to weed but gave it up after I gave him an ultimatum.

I'm angry with myself because I haven't handled the break up well at all have I? Blocking him was really immature and I feel like by losing it I haven't done the right thing and have an adult conversation. It was mainly the way he was with the DC's that made me snap. This is a new thing for him, he was kind and patient with them up until recently. I have tried and tried to keep us going but there has just been so many issues. I'm angry with myself because once again I'm the one who ends up hurt and upset. I really put myself back together after domestic violence in my marriage but once again I feel trampled on and used. He has made no attempt to contact me, he could if he really wanted get through to me but he's obviously not that bothered . I don't know why I am writing this post? Feel a bit lost and confused...

True Fecho I don't think he'd accept any of that as out of order though.

You don't have to give him any reason, and don't need to explain your decision at all. Stick with your clean break...you deserve so much better than him.

I don't think he'd accept

Stop right there. He doesn't have to accept anything - it is not his decision to make. You can decide to end a relationship for whatever reason you jolly well want to. That is your decision as an adult to make.

The trick is not to get into some sort of argument.

They are all good reasons so that highlights that there's no point having it out with him if he won't care. he is your ex now anyway, not your job to convince him of anything :)

I'm sorry, OP, for what you've been put through in the past. It makes it even more impressive that you've seen this for what it was.

Well done for having the strength of conviction to end it and leave it ended. If you were a friend (or one of my daughters when they're a bit older) I'd wonder what you were doing with him from your description of him, and I'd probably be dropping not very subtle words into conversations along the lines that you could do much much better.

Bollocks to whatever self serving nasty crap Mr Limp Dick is coming out with now. Bollocks to him.

Well done you for such decisive action!
Dump, block, return stuff.

You are a hero!

Thanks all. Looks like I have totally done the right thing. I was wavering about whether I owe him an explanation because basically I'm a nice person BUT, his FB app was on my phone from when his broke and always flashed up if he's got a message, friend request etc and lo and behold what had just popped up?

A friend request from a woman he was seeing just before we got together and was still his 'friend' (who was awful about me, said I had a personality disorder even though she's never me or spoken to me!!!)

Interesting timing given we've just split up. Coincidence much? I'm afraid I unblocked his mobile and called him a cunt.

*never seen me

I'm afraid I unblocked his mobile and called him a cunt.

Good on ya. As long as you blocked him straight away again.

I'm afraid I unblocked his mobile and called him a cunt.

Hahahaha, that just made me laugh. Good for you!

Sorry he is one though. But yes, you have totally done the right thing!

Well done - you did the right thing.
I'm sorry about your childhood.
I honestly can't imagine what that must be like.
Have you had counselling for it all?
Did Womens Aid help you when you ended your last abusive relationship?