Longtime lurker here but my first post.
I have recently broken up with my bf of a year. When we got first together I had just applied for my dream job teaching abroad which he knew before we began the relationship. We had a few months together before I left for my job which was only a six month contract and a one off opportunity for me.
It was arranged that he would join me for an extended holiday after my contract had finished and we would return home together. Before I went, we discussed me going away and how the relationship would work and he seemed happy with it and supportive of my new job.
However I feel his behaviour changed towards me while I was away with him often seeming angry at me for going when we spoke. It was like he was bitter about it. He said he felt distant from me but he didn't make much effort to talk to me to feel closer to me. He said it felt like we weren't really together. He took ages to reply to my messages and seemed disinterest. He would sometimes 'jokily' call me the ditcher but this happened almost incessantly and grew tiresome. Every now and then he would tell me that he really liked me but I really don't feel his actions showed this.
When he joined me at the end of the six months, there were a few incidents which made me question the relationship and ultimately break up with him. He is messaging me a lot now and asking for another chance and I am just not sure what to do.
For example during a day out on the holiday he was rude in front of friends and belittled me which was embarrassing for me and everyone else . This made things awkward and I couldn't believe he would speak to me like that in private let alone in public.
I was unfortunately a few days late to meet him for the start of our holiday. This was for reasons outside of my control. He told me I had ruined the trip and told me what a great time he would have before I got there. He has since apologised for this reaction and said he was upset that I was going to be late to meet him.
He says that this behaviour isn't like him and his insecurities have been bought out by me being away so much. I worry that he was just showing the best aspects of his personality at the beginning of our relationship and now I've seen the real him.
I don't know what I'm asking really, I suppose for an outsiders perspective? Could distance really change someone's personality that much?