Insecure about looks

[Bobthebuilder123]

Have any of you been in a situation when you get on really really well with someone and you know they care about you and think you are great as a person and that you are one of their closest friends, but for them there is nothing more? Especially when the person they have pursued and fallen for is much much better looking than you?

I am just trying to reconcile it I suppose and am interested in advice. I'm actually OK as friends now I know the score, but still find it a bit rough on my self esteem regarding my looks. Especially as there is a number of times in my life that this has happened - I've been the friend, and not the love interest, and played second fiddle to hotter more mysterious women.

I do know what you mean. However speaking from experience it's much worse for your self esteem when the guy picks a less attractive looking girlfriend....then you know it's "you" that's not fancible.

If it keeps happening I would say you are picking guys who have never really been interested in dating you. Do you encourage the "lets be good friends thing " and in the hope it leads to more?

I'd say try not to get excitied about anyone who doesn't actually ask you out and want to kiss you. And only be besties with the ones you don't want to date.

There's more to attraction than looks. Confidence, warm and happy personality and not coming across as too needy etc etc

I've been both in my 20s. The invisible one and, when I got fit and took pride in my appearance and honestly I didn't like being seen as "hot" not knowing if somone actually liked you or just your looks

My advice is don't compare yourself to others. Focus on your good points and you'll meet someone who adores and fancies you

It's the friend zone. Most people have to accept it at some stage.