Would you call this liar out?

[pinkyporkies]

Someone i know (not a DP or DC) lies quite regularly to me. It's never about anything big but always because it makes her life easier. Often the lies are based around her not being able to do something or not having done something. In the past I've confronted her about it and she showed no remorse for lying. I obviously don't trust her anymore and am suspicious about anything she says.

Twice in the past couple of weeks she has lied about why she couldn't meet up, unfortunately the first lie wasn't well thought out and she ended up telling a second lie to cover for the first lie. This was a really obvious lie. My immediate response was to call her on it because she must think i'm an idiot to believe the lie. However, at the moment I'm trying to rise above it and just add it in to the collection of lies.

My question is would you call out a liar or just be content knowing that they lie and you can't trust them?

She would probably just lie to get her out of the other two lies she already told you.

Is it more that she is making excuses because she doesn't want to offend than outright lying?

Why do you think she's lying?

Do you have to have her in your life? I'd find that so draining to deal with that I'd stop engaging with her.

No excuse for lying obviously but do you make it difficult for her to change plans with you if something happens and she can't make it? If you're inflexible then maybe she feels that she has to exaggerate a reason as to why she can't make it because the truth wouldn't be a strong enough reason. Maybe?

I don't mean this as a criticism of you, but just a thought.

It could be anxiety. I have in the past lied to get out of social situations when struggling badly with anxiety.

PurpleDaisies she says she lies because it makes her life easier, she sometimes gets enjoyment from it, and because everyone lies. However, ironically I'm not sure if that's her honest opinion. I think she might have some kind of personality disorder as she sometimes has other problems with social niceties.

Beentherelefthimgotthetshirt luckily she's not around all the time but I can't really cut her out completely.

PurpleDaises just looked up why people lie on the internet and one of the things that came up was about control. I think this might be why she lies, because it gives her more control over the situation. She has other controlling tendencies e.g we almost always have to do what she wants to do at the time she wants to do it, there is no negotiation. Maybe lying means that the other person doesn't have the full picture and so she has more control.

It could be control. It could also be anxiety as storm suggested (that was my first thought).

I was wondering why you thought your friend was doing it, not what the Internet says motivates people to lie if that makes sense.

Give us some examples.

I often lie about why I can't meet up with someone because I don't want to upset them.

People often don't like 'I'm busy every day next week so want to lie in bed until lunchtime on the day you want to meet for breakfast' or 'I've already arranged to meet another friend, the one you don't like'.

If she's a habitual liar, why do you see her?