Going it alone.

[Libs1980]

Hi all,
Any advise much needed!
I'm starting a new job on monday, however ive jusy split with my partner. Im anxious and can eat and sleep. Im not acruallu terrified starting my job and dont want ro go!.
Could say its my own fault as i acrually rold him i didnt want it anymore as hes messed me about 2.5 years, the last 5 months he actually decided he was in love with ne so tried makinh it work. However we had a chat about the future a couple of days back and he said he never wants to live together as likes his own space. I said we may as well end things then as i want to settle down and 'eventually live together.
He text me yesterday and aaid he would ring last night, however he didnt and went out drinkinh instead and ignored my phone call and text.
Im at a loss. I love him so much.

We'll be moving this thread to Relationships soon.

Hi Libs,

logically I think you have two different things going on here although I can understand it is hard to separate them.

1. Your new job. Jobs exist outside any relationship you may have, they are a means of earning a living (necessary for most of us) and can also give us meaningful activity and new friends. I assume you wanted this job and you should go for it come what may. Being busy at work can actually be a very good way of escaping from all the angst around relationship issues. Don't let your upset around your relationship impinge on your new job.

1. Your relationship. It is all very raw now, but if the two of you are fundamentally incompatible in what you are seeking from a relationship then you were absolutely right to call time and move on. It is normal to be upset and to second guess yourself but give it time and view this relationship as a learning experience. You know what you want now more clearly than you did before and that is a good thing as it will help you make a better choice next time. FWIW he does not sound ready for a proper committed relationship and nothing you do will change that. You can't change another person.

Focus on keeping busy, seeing your friends, eating well and doing some exercise and your new job. You'll be fine. Good luck in your new job, it's a good thing this has come along now so throw yourself into it.