So my friend is leaving her abusive husband

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Ok...... how do I support her. There are no children. She is going to a refuge. It's planned this weekend when he's (Hopefully) at work. It's been a shock as only told me yesterday as not told anyone really. Please can you tell me how best to support her. I really want to help but conscious it's a sensitive situation. I told her to make sure all her I.d. is out of the house for starters.
Thanks all xx

Make sure she takes all paperwork she can with her. And yes passport, birth certificate, marriage cert. I would assume there is a lot of paperwork for her to fill out etc when she there so she will probably need stuff like that and any bank statements etc.

I'm really glad she's leaving and happy she has a lovely supportive friend.

There was another thread recently about similar and there were some people on there who have experience of being in a refuge or working at them so I hope they might be along soon x

Thank you, instinctively I told her that. Car documents was another thing. I am so conscious it's sensitive but want to do all i possibly can. I really hope he goes to work this weekend. I am driving 400 miles to help her move

You are an awesome friend. I have my fingers crossed he does and that she stays strong and goes through with it. She may have periods of doubt that leaving is the right thing, you may need to remind her of why she left.

She is being really brave, it's very hard to leave an abusive relationship. I had to but there were no shelters where I was and I had no friends so I'm so glad she has told you and has your support.

Well done her for making this decision and well done you for being such a great friend and supporting her. There is some good information on the Women's Aid website:www.womensaid.org.uk/the-survivors-handbook/im-worried-about-someone-else/ It might also be worth giving them a call as having a call to them logged (either by your friend or by you on her behalf) could be useful if things turn nasty and the police or authorities need to get involved Good luck to you both!.

Apologies for lack of punctuation

Thanks all. Sadly been delayed as he's not gone to work ffs
She has been offered a refuge. What will it be like for her. I'm so worried and feel helpless as I live quite far away.

Can you contact part time working mum on Facebook she works with lots of domestic violence charities and refuges and is amazing at advice and getting local help

Ok thanks very much

So glad you are there for her. I hope she can get away soon!

She is lucky to have such a supportive friend. I hope she manages to get away safely very soon.

Be prepared for the possibility that she might go back and stay supportive if she does.

Buy her a copy of why does he do that?!

Lundy Bancroft.... Just been reading Why does He Do That? Mine is from the library. Well thumbed. Your friend is lucky to have you. Keep yourself safe too. As others have said, listen to what WA have to say.

Tell her to change her number. The paper work etc is something she is likely to think of if it's been planned as is clothes but if he has her number he will message and try to guilt trip her into returning or telling him where she is. She may well do this a number of times before leaving. This is normal (I was in an abusive relationship)

Tell her to ask for counselling - this will help her understand his actions and therefore be less likely to go back to him. Also let her know about the freedom programme.

Remind her this is a fresh start and that you are there for her when she is lonely etc

She has been seeing women's aid for a few weeks. She has ordered a new sim too. He's being really nice at the minute so i hope she leaves this week when he is at work at some point. I will order her that book when shes left because he goes through her stuff when she's at work.
Women's aid have been amazing and because of them shes planning to leave. She had kept it all to herself until this week. I know he's going to.go nuts when she does go as I really Don't think he is expecting it. I've told her to try and remember the last 2 major incidents with him so she is clear about leaving :(

It sounds like he has an idea that she is thinking of leaving. She should not underestimate the lengths he would go to to spy on her - think tracking devices, keyloggers, recording equipment in car/home.

She did it she left him!!

He sent her a message asking if it was permanent???

Great news, hope she has the strength to make it permanent

Oh well done that woman!! Please pass these on from me.

Long may it last, did you help her move?

for you too, you're a great friend.

I know I'm so happy for her! I know there will be difficult times ahead but I'm hoping she will look forward to a happy future now.

Do u think it's weird he sent that message??

Unfortunately I couldn't help her move...a member of her family did in the end.

So glad for your friend that she left