Not meeting someone and therefore remaining childless

[readingintherain]

I suppose I am posting hoping for some advice and support.

I have toyed with adoption and sperm donation but I dont think either are quite right for me and so it is very likely I will not have children.

I would welcome ideas and suggestions for how to make my life meaningful without my own family. It might just be the stage I am at but most of my friends have young children so a lot seems focused on families right now.

Justbreathing a big ball of cuntyness is exactly what it is. Added in is the problem that although in general terms my DP and I can talk about kids, I can't say at this stage I want them. I wouldn't see him for a cloud of bloody dust and I wouldn't blame him either. Arghhhh

My best friend married at 39, had her first child at 42 then a second at 45. It's not too late.

I remember the horrible empty, purposeless feeling I had when I wanted children but could not find a partner. It felt awful. However, now that I have children, I can not honestly say that my life is generally not any happier. It's just DIFFERENT. Although rewarding, raising children can be difficult and personally frustrating sometimes.

If it hadn't happened to me, I would have ensured I had a job that was meaningful to me. I would not have settled for a job I found dull, boring or purposeless. Without children to provide for, I would have taken a job 'for the love of it'.

How about charity work with children op? May fulfill your desire to nurture, teach and love children, and God knows there are a LOT of children in the world who would adore someone to show them love.

Do you have a job that is dull or boring or purposeless now Lucy? That's a shame.

I hope you are ok, OP The whole issue of children is so contentious and no matter what your or anyone else's situation, we are all fighting our corner. Whatever way you look at it, there will be loss. There will be the early abortion, miscarriage, or an abusive relationship, or something doesn't go to plan. There will always be skeletons in the cupboard.
Please don't be hard on yourself.
I had a horrid time when I was pregnant with my 2nd child and diagnosed with breast cancer. My friends were happily adding to their families and I was undergoing surgery.
Please look after yourself.