What do you think of my life? Lonely and sad? Or am I feeling sorry for myself?

[cupcakesmakeyouhappy]

I have been single 5 years. I am now 40. Single parent to 2 DD's 12 and 10. Student (mature) nurse.
I hurt my back 6 months ago so stopped going to the gym (not that I had much time to go). I drink far too much wine and now have an extra 2 stone around the middle and buttocks area. I'm around a size 16. Tired. Fed up. No motivation to find an exercise I can do. I know I sound a moany pants but I feel completely un-fanciable so dating is completely off the cards. I can not seem to find any positivity in each day. I have even questioned giving up nursing. Everyone seems to have a life and family and friends. I dont have any friends apart from the ones I have made in uni who all seem to have busy social lives. I dont have family so would struggle for childcare anyway. Well I do but my parents are very self absorbed. I have tried to explain my difficulties to them but they dont listen. Probably for the best as I have had lots of issues growing up with them and I only ever feel like 'a nothing' to them anyway.
I do alot with my DD's but theyre getting to an age where they want to do their own thing.
Today I went to the doctor and he has prescribed me an anti-depressant. This isnt going to stop me from feeling lonely though is it?
Sorry for sounding so moany. I know there are people so so so much worse off than me. Just in need or in hope of someone that can relate/advise or just chat really as sometimes I feel like there is absolutely nobody to talk to.

There will always be someone worse off than you, right up to people giving their last breath - so don't worry on that score.

If you feel shit - you are perfectly entitled to - don't make yourself feel worse iyswim. (hopefully you get my drift - struggling to get my words out)

A lot of people find exercsie helps - ideally in a group so it becomes a bit social too.

Good lcuk.

IMO it does sound like depression. It's worth giving the anti-depressants a go to see if they help tip the balance back to functioning but you should also look into therapy really.

I can relate, parents dead, single mother to 3 kids and not even uni to keep my mind occupied. I have my sister's, my kids and my ex, that's it. It is very lonely sometimes but I have found antidepressants helpful when going through a low patch. No solutions but you aren't alone

It sounds like you're someone who has been carrying a big load of responsibility on your own for quite some time...and without someone there to care for you.
I wonder if you can think of three things that would make life easier for you, and what they would be.

Stop drinking. Start exercising. Take the ADs. Everything will start to look rosier.

Thankyou all for your reply.
I have seen a counsellor in uni but thats just for uni work overload and stress. I cant afford a counsellor. Definitely need one though.
Im sorry you are feeling lonely too. I can imagine there are lots of lonely people out there. Its sad. Its hard to change your circumstances sometimes.
Purple - Family that care, confidence in myself and money to have choices :)

Change one thing. Sometimes when you make a positive change in one area it can lead to other changes. Lose the weight. You can't out train a bad diet so I would eat more healthily, cut down the wine, do at least 10k steps a day, don't worry about getting to a gym. Losing weight does wonders for making you feel more positive about life. Good luck.

And the next question - which three things are you going to do to bring those things closer to reality?

Okay, a couple of thoughts, well done for being able to pin down three things that would make life easier for you. Two of those sound like things that you have control over or are working towards...which is really positive and something for you to be proud of :) .
Looking at some of the other posts and your reply about not being able to afford counselling can I also mention that a lot of voluntary sector alcohol agencies offer counselling for anyone struggling with their relationship with alcohol, and aren't surprised to find that alcohol is a coping mechanism. I.e. the counselling can focus on any many issues.

The Ads will work - but be careful they can increase appetite and because you will be feeling better you won't care you're getting fatter! Happened to me.

OP, you just sound like a really, really nice person. A lot of nurses are IME.

I put on a hell of a lot of weight over the last eighteen months or so - difficult to pinpoint why, I guess I just took my eyes off the ball and ignored a pound creeping on and then before I knew it six months had gone by and I'd gained three stone and felt unrecognisable.

I have lost almost a stone and a half now though - I'll get back to where I was and I feel once I've done that I'll go back to who I was. Does that make sense?

Maybe start a small study group at uni? That would help getting to know people better, spend social time with them (during the day for now) & help with the uni work too.
With 2 kids & yr course probably not a good time to start a relationship.
Re parents - can you ask them for something specific eg that the DDs go for a few hours on Sat/Sun while you study and/or catch up?

Firstly PLEASE DO NOT give up your nursing! It will open so many doors for you, and provide a decent income.

It is very hard to motivate yourself, when you feel there's nothing worth motivating yourself for. I wish I had the answer for that one as I have those difficulties myself.

As a single mum (I was too) with 2 DC and studying, I doubt you have any time left for socialising. I think you have to find something you really really like and want to do, you will then meet likeminded people who, hopefully, you will make friends with.

You sound lovely and the kind of person I would be happy to be friends with

Good luck

OP you are not alone...i wrote a similar post few days back but not even one reply...just about my life being dull and I know loneliness is main reason...

I too have days when I am extremely low... but by now I know I just need to wait it out and they will pass. I made a few small changes listed below which really helped uplift my general mood.

I became extremely organised with meal planning and did a weekly food shop to ensure I can prepare meals every day. For 4 weeks family didn't eat out or order takeaway... Felt really good about eating healthy and saving money. and feel confident that we can control our spend. This also paves way to eating healthy as I prepare the meals.

I started reading.

There's some good stuff in on tv so keep my mind occupied with tv sometimes

I make it a point to immediately do a job that I might have previously procrastinated.

Oh and please do not give up studying.

Thankyou all so so much for your messages and advice. It was so comforting waking up to read :) it feels so lonely sometimes. We all just need to chat to someone sometimes.
I have spoken to my uni counsellor about my over drinking. I have woken this morning hoping to take control of this as I know its not good for me. The AD's will hopefully help.
Its definitely my weight and stressful life that gets me down so I do need to address these. It does make sense sparkle, because I feel the same.
I really do not like asking my parents. They dont seem to see my struggles. I have broken down to them both telling them I drink too much. I struggle with my 12 year old DD's moods. They know I get no support from their father and they still never ever offer. I have said if I had someone to have my DD's for a few hours to do work or even just me time, life would be easier. So I feel like I do not want to ask as they really dont want to. Seeing my parents also highlights the fact they dont care about anyone but themselves. Its always been this way. So cant change it. I beat myself up sometimes thinking about it.
Its difficult to get a study group together as everyone is super busy and to be honest nobody seems interested in getting together. I have made a friend at uni who makes an effort to contact me which is nice.
Im going to try to get organised. I seriously need to find my mojo. I know AD's will help but I need to change me and my life too.
Im sorry a couple of you feel this way too. It can be very lonely at times. I hate to think people are lonely.. Its nice to know we have MN to chat isnt it?!
Thankyou all for the kind words.