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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Step family not sure I can do it anymore.

7 replies

Kandinsky1 · 06/09/2017 09:59

I've been in my relationship for nearly 9 years I met his son when he was eight he is very is 15 very rude to me does not a acknowledge me to say hello or goodbye. Constantly digs at me. He if a controlling child who wants to control his dad and my son. When he's with us which is every weekend. My partner's ex is nightmare money grabbing and bully. my daughters 18 and she doesn't like the way his son treats me and my partner can a bit rude sometimes she doesn't feel welcome at her home at the moment so I'm going for a big nightmare. We have a three-year-old son and he is lovely and I don't know what to do for the best do I get out of this relationship because it's so hard trying to put up with it all but feel it's too much. I have had to let my oh son and ex be horrible in the past so we could keep contact. Now had enough. My daughter has a boyfriend they were staying at our which we agreed. They were giggling in her room. 10.30pm Saturday night not too loud. My partner went storming snappy and horrible agreesive towards them. My daughter has his own flat he's only 19 but had his own place since 16 he's had a tough life so I was trying to keep her close but my partner is pushing her away. So lost right now. Please advice.

OP posts:
Barbaro · 06/09/2017 10:14

I would leave anyone who was snappy and aggressive to my kid, after yelling at them to tell them off for doing so. This is a relationship that isn't going to work. You will drive your daughter away by staying with him.

SandyY2K · 06/09/2017 22:06

It sounds like pure and utter hell tbh. Your OH is not pleasant and it's awful that your daughter isn't comfortable in her own home.

I'd be looking to separate.

ChicRock · 06/09/2017 22:09

It sounds like a thoroughly miserable home environment for everyone that lives there.

Get out.

SonicBoomBoom · 06/09/2017 22:13

You aren't happy. Your DD isn't happy. And it doesn't sound like your DP or his DS are happy either.

Relationships are supposed to make you happy and make your life easier and better.

This one isn't working, so call it a day.

Kandinsky1 · 10/09/2017 19:47

I scared As have no where to go. I've been a stay at home mum for our little one so need to find work extra. Everything just feels so over whelming. Plus feel like I've failed again. How do you pick yourself up again.

OP posts:
GladysKnight · 10/09/2017 20:38

That sounds very tough for you OP, but it isn't a failure to do what's right for your kids, quite the opposite. Your daughter needs to know you put her first - she only has one Mum!

I haven't been in a situation like yours but I know a lot of people have and that it did get better after they left, once they had got through the hard part.

I am hoping someone with more direct experience of this kind of situation can share their stories with you soon.

MamaLeen · 10/09/2017 20:59

I can't imagine what you are going through. The most important thing is your relationship with your two children. They need to be your priority.
And of course your own feelings and emotional health. You shouldn't be treated the way his son treats you.
Maybe some space would help the situation.
Are you able to discuss the situation with your husband at all? And stess changes of some sort need to happen.

Good luck ❤

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