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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is it me ?

9 replies

Battybev · 06/09/2017 07:38

Hi everyone. My hubby of 21 years has always been strong willed and short fused but now I can't win. He says he's leaving yet again! Says he's not happy I apparently have no time for him because I work, do extras. See to all the house. My mum is I'll and I take our grandson to school approx 3 days a week. He says I don't work enough and I basically spend all his money. I don't ask for anything and contribute half towards the outlays . We sleep in separate beds because I snore and he was getting abusive about it so I retreated to the other room to enable him to sleep as he says I snore and fart like a ferret. Yes I do have my grandson but that is my stress relief and something I enjoy. He now complains that we are never together. I get up extra early to see him before he goes to work and I'm at home every evening. He says some vile things to our youngest daughter he complains I don't work enough but when I'm at work and he's off he also complains. I just can't win. The only time I see my mum is now usually on a Sunday because it's the easiest day and that's when I get to use the car. Which he says he doesn't mind but still has a funny on him. He constantly says people are always taking from him and he's only good when he's giving. Which just isn t true.i try my best to sort the house and work and actually do very little for myself but this still isn t enough. It's like mental torture and I find myself thinking about if I should do things before hand in case of any repercussions he can be the most living person but it's like living on a knife edge. Feel lost like I'm always in the wrong.

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 06/09/2017 07:55

God, let him leave. It will make your life happier for a start

pog100 · 06/09/2017 07:59

Just let him leave. He is a self centered idiot and you are his victim. He sounds horrible. To answer your question, it's him

Poshindevon · 06/09/2017 08:02

For putting up with his bahaviour for 21 years you deserve a medal and your freedom.
Its not you at all. Your DH mentally and emotionly abuses you. You should leave him that will shock him.
Start a new and happy life without him.

LEMtheoriginal · 06/09/2017 08:08

Oh just tell him to fuck off ...he won't but you need him gone. Vile pig

JWrecks · 06/09/2017 08:23

Sounds like an absolute wanker. You'll be much better off if you just let him go.

When he threatens, DON'T engage, don't get sad, don't let him hurt your feelings. Just steel up and tell him to go on then.

I'd bet money that he says those awful things to get a reaction out of you, to see you hurt. Don't give the bastard what he wants; take what you want instead!

Shoxfordian · 06/09/2017 08:39

Let him leave; he doesn't seem like he's making you happy

AttilaTheMeerkat · 06/09/2017 08:49

He has not left because he likes having you around to abuse and otherwise ill treat as he sees fit.

This is no life for you and I would urge you to start the process of separating from him asap.

I sincerely hope that your DD does not end up marrying someone like her dad.

yetmorecrap · 06/09/2017 09:20

God knows why you get up extra early to 'see' this horrible git,

Angelf1sh · 06/09/2017 10:51

Definitely let him go. I see nothing worth keeping.

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