Time to ghost?

[Artemisi]

I met a guy I thought I really clicked with. But there were issues with the 2nd date. We'd agreed a day but not a time. My last message had been something like "I can do any time after xxx". He didn't bother to confirm with me on the day. Finally I relented and sent him a "are we still on for today?" message on the day. Only then did he reply and suggest a time to meet. The date itself was mainly great.

But little red flag there in that he seemed to expect me to do all the "chasing". Plus I had to go to meet him in his neighbourhood rather than than him doing anything more convenient to me.

Anyway, that date went on for hours. I think 18 hours or more. Thankfully I didn't have sex with him. He wanted sex but I said no. He didn't bother to set up another date. He took me out for breakfast the following morning where I noticed him flirting with another woman (the waitress) and suggesting she visit his place of work later that day to shop.

He eventually asked when I was next free. We arranged to meet up yesterday. Yesterday came and went, no word from him. Finally, today he texted me to ask what I'm up to this evening. My guess is that he feels horny and wants to see whether I'll shag him. I told him I'm busy. (I am). He said something like "let's catch up soon."

I'd like to just completely ignore messages from him from now on. Is that a bit childish or is it fair enough in the circumstances?

Fair enough I reckon - you've only had two dates, i always thought ghosting was more applicable as a term if you were in a long term relationship anyway.

Might be more satisfying to reply 'no, I'd rather clean all the pubes out from behind all the toilets in the world than see you ever again, you massive waste of carbon' before blocking him though

Haha. I think people use the word "ghost" when somebody suddenly starts completely ignoring you. I guess it can apply to this scenario.

But his behaviour strikes me as absolutely ridiculous to be honest. What do you think of it?

Just leave it at "let's catch up soon" and don't bother chasing any more. If he wants to see you and you're free then see him but only for fun - don't take him seriously. He's clearly not a serious person.

Sorry to say but he doesn't seem that interested in you. Wouldn't waste another thought on you.

I meant, in the previous post - that I wouldn't waste another thought on him! (and not you) Sorry!

Hi Artemisi. Is this the chap you met in the book store? I'm going to say what I said on your last thread. Don't text him, and yes, ignore all his messages-not childish at all. Looks like you gave him a chance last time but if he is like this now, in the first flush, imagine what he'll be like in 6 months. In fact, block him.

I used to be like this-constantly wondering whether I was being impolite when the other person didn't give two hoots trampling all over. Merrily ignore.

I don't want to see him again.

Charming.

I agree Riding. In the circumstances it seems best to just ignore completely.

Right after our last date I saw something he'd written on Facebook a few months back about how he believes all men should avoid being committed to one woman and should be allowed to date dozens of women at the same time, with no commitment at all and just "good vibes" and "plenty of sex."

He makes you do most of the chasing (50/50 is one thing, but this isn't 50:50)

Leaves making arrangements until the last minute

Behaved flirtily with another woman in front of you and told her how to contact him

He stood you up yesterday

He's a player (or a knob, as I call them). He obviously finds it perfectly easy to pick women up anywhere and everywhere. I'd say you're one of a long list of women he sees/shags (if he can), but he doesn't have the moral sense to be upfront with you about it. It's a shame when you think you've clicked and it turns out bad, but I'd say there is 0% chance of this going anywhere unless your relationship goal is to be one of several last-minute booty calls for this joker

Great that you don't want to see this loser. In which case-you won't need to see his text messages again either. So block without another thought. (Don't be tempted by the desire to see if he gets in touch again.) your latest post about his FB is just something else...who do these guys think they are?! Good job, you are well rid.

Yes, a real joker. As for doing most of the chasing, not really. I sent him that final text asking "are we still on?" a couple of weeks ago and that's the extent of it. We had vague arrangements for last night (that he initiated). Didn't hear from him, didn't contact him to ask why. He finally contacted me today to try to shag me tonight. I simply said "I'm sorry I'm busy. Hope you're well."

So if I block him on WhatsApp I won't have to see his stupid messages at all?

It's never time to ghost.

Ok, he's a knob. So write a quick text, 'Hey, not really feeling it, so best that we don't meet again. Best of luck to you. x' Then, if you really must, block.

Takes 15 seconds max.

It's about your standards, not his.

I'd say, "Sorry, I just don't fancy you. Best of luck." Then block him.

I would love to send that text, as now that he's revealed his true character I don't fancy him at all. I sense he's a nasty piece of work at heart though so might be best not to antagonise him. I'll just ignore/fade out.

Absolutely keep your cool. He's not worth your anger.

I know a lot of MNers don't agree with me but when OLD I always liked to add to FB. I don't live my life on FB so it's not a problem for me, but I found that someones FB (or refusal to add) was quite telling. Just like you, I have seen some questionable posts and one guy didn't last as a FB friend for more than an hour. He'd posted a long rant about single mums and that was enough for me to get rid before I'd even met him.

OP unfriend on FB and block, he sounds a complete arsehole.

Definitely block and move on.

But in future, don't play games yourself. Don't leave yourself open to being let down by not agreeing to a time and expecting him to chase you. Just leaves you waiting. Just say 7pm next time!!

It's 2017.....yes it's nice to be chased but we can't expect to be feminists AND expect men to do all the work!

I would send him a message telling him it's just not working because he's a prick, then block him.

Sadly most of the dates I have been on (quite a few) have been with pricks like him.

Sorry your initial instincts about him proved to be right, I followed the last thread about him but didn't post. You're obviously a good judge of character. It shouldn't be complicated.

If you're afraid of repercussions, then a quick text - " I don't feel this is working out, so I won't be meeting again. Best wishes." Polite, calm, non-offensive.

Then block, delete, ignore.

I think it was the moment he admitted he'd considered having sex with men for money that was the final straw.

He sounds awful. Run and don't look back!

Run Artemisi. Run like the wind. You've dodged a bullet. Congrats!