How to have a long and (mostly) happy relationship?

[TheHeronOfHarmony]

My DP and I are both in our 50's each with a couple of long term relationships behind us.

We've both changed a lot since our last failures and are different with each other than we were with our previous partners but, I'm interested in any insights into what makes a relationship remain happy in the long term - neither of us want to be splitting up in our 60's or 70's!

Only hooking up with someone you really really like and respect. Tactful honesty. (speaking from only 10 years' perspective, but got together in our 50s).

Be honest and talk to each other. Don't shoot the other person down. Know that you will be wrong at some point. Be prepared to take criticism but knowing your doing it to make your marriage work. Never take the other person for granted. Respect each others need for an individual life and interests when knowing your loyalty is to your family. Support each other even if you don't agree. Don't compare your relationship to others. Compromise and forgive. Treat each other as equals.

Communication - deal with things in adult way; no sulking, tantrums, silence.
Commitment; make it forever come good days and bad days.
Compromise; allow that none of us are perfect, we are but fallible humans. Give and forgive.
Companionship: do things together that you both enjoy, search for common ground, try new things and new places, build shared social circles, make each other laugh.
Cuddles: not necessarily 50 shades every waking hour but hand holding walks, kissing goodbye and hello, curling up together on the sofa or in bed, showing physical affection.
Caring: look after each other, do small things for each other, take the lions share if someone is unwell, remember to buy voltarol gel when he has a bad back, gwt balsam tissues when his nose is sore from a cold.
Allow him to care for you, be sufficiently humble to allow yourself to be cherished.

My guidelines are:

1. Sort yourself out first. If you're not happy, if you're bored or dissatisfied, do something about it before blaming yoru partner or relationship.
2. Make plans together for projects you both really want to do or achieve - anything from holidays or physical challenges to house renovations
3. Be kind and nice to each other. Celebrate each other's victories, birthdays etc. Every day say something nice, hug, have a laugh abotu something.
4. When you can't stand each other (there will be times ) reminisce about good stuff and be honest about what you do still appreciate in yoru partner and nudge them to look for what they still like in you.
5. Find some small, regular rituals you both enjoy that are a bit quirky that make you feel you 'fit' better together than you would with other people.
6. Spend time apart doing interesting stuff so when you meet up you have interesting things to discuss. It's sexy to be with someone who is enjoying life and challenging themselves to do new stuff. (But not at the expense of a relationship. Not workaholism.)
7. When they start treating you as if you are part of the furniture, pick them up on it. Raise the standard in your relationship before it dips too low. (And do the same yourself. As soon as I find myself being dismissive of DH or putting him down, I start talking about his strengths with DC, buy him a present, plan a treat for the pair of us.)

That sort of thing works for us. Been together 22 years with some massive ups and downs, but we're very happy and genuinely looking forward to when DC are out of the nest so we can do some more stuff together. We talk abotu it like excited teenagers. We've sort of made a bucket list of stuff to do when they're gone. And stuff to do while they're still here, of course.

Sorry I don't have anything to add, just wanted to say these are great tips. I'll try and take these on board myself.