What to i do....

[ebbie22]

I dont really know where to start..I havent even been married for a year yet and already im ready to throw the towel in,The only thing stopping me is my dd 19months...
I have always been mates with my ex's although only mainly through texts,my husband can be controlling and very lazy,he will only do what he wants and if i ask for advice or help that too will be in his own time..
I know deep down that i should never of got married to him but now i really dont know what to do for the best..

I do love him,i just dont think i am in love with him anymore,we have been trying for another baby for 7 months,because i always wanted my children close together and i would rather them have the same father even if we were no longer together..
I just feel so down and dont know what to do,i have reread this and know the last bit seems unfair and part of me feels blessed that we havent concieved as it wouldnt be fair on a baby...The reason this has all come about now is that all my old mates are thinking of having a nite out where i used to live and my dh has said that if i meet up with my ex of over 4 years ago then that is it...I said he couldnt control me anymore but deep down i know he is goin to...Am i in the wrong?

I think both,as when i meet up with my other bloke mates i never hear the end of it...I admit i wouldnt like him getting in touch with his ex now but mine has always been in the piture.Most of my mates are blokes and ex's but not people i have slept with although ex is...

If you already knew this bloke before you met your dh why didn't he tell you not to see him before you got married.

Sorry reply is slow but I'm at work and I'm a bit snowed under

I know...He even came to our wedding...Which seems so long ago..I have ofton thought about leaving but where would i go?Im only a learner driver so dont think i would get very far...I just dont want to feel the way i feel anymore..I havent told dh that i dont love him ne more because deep down i think i do its just got lost with everything else..He has let himself go a bit and i dont want to hurt his feelings by telling him so.We dont seem to laugh anymore..How did you get out of the rut?

And to top it all,chocolate is not helping...

I wouldn't start saying you don't love him until you know in your own mind - there is no point putting more stress into the sitution.

My situation was quite different to yours. My dh is a helpful guy around the house and he is really good with our dd. My problem is that he is neglectfull of me and my feelings - he's very unromantic and unaffectionate.

The trouble is I found these things with someone else and saw what I was missing.
My solution was to remove myself from the situation. My dh and I went away on holiday and our troubles from home were forgotten about.

I have had alot of time to think and weight up the pros and cons of being in a relationship. I decided that I didn't want to be on my own and didn't want to loose everything I had built up with my dh.

I think you have to be very honeset with ourself - and if possible find a friend you can be 100% honest with. Luckly I had a friend I could talk to about my infidelity and she helped me see that I had that sort of thing with my dh a long time ago and that all relatioships loose their sparkle after a while (10 years in my case)

Ps I find once the chocolate has stopped working it's time to start on the vodka and fags

I'm off home for the day now and will not be available tomorrow. I hope that I have been able to help you a little bit.

Try and take things slowly and give yourself lots of time to think. There he no hurry to decide anything.

I'll try and check in with you later in the week to make sure your feeling OK
Love ap xxx

Thank you,i dont know what i will do
but i have stoppped smoking for 2 and a bit years and def dont want to start again...
I know we had the spark but i just need to get a way for a while maybe i will go away with my dd for a while...need to sort my head out..Thank you