DH baby blues?

[Myhomeismycastle]

My DS is 6 months,it has been difficult with him (medical issues, hardly slept etc).

My DH over this time has been awful, becoming distant, snappy, unhappy. I've feel like I am an irritation to him. When I've asked him what's wrong he says he doesn't get enough time with me & is jealous of the time I give DS. I have really tried to maximise our time together but with DS being poorly it has been difficult. He just became someone I didn't know.

I then find out he's text another women his work number, saying call me, don't text my missus might see it .

He doesn't know why he's done it, he's sorry & he believes he was suffering from the dad version of post natal depression. I know that this exist obviously but it seems to have cleared up very quickly after me threatening to leave as I am at breaking point.

I'm struggling to get over the fact that he wasn't there for me when I needed him either. I struggled with DS but I always managed to keep a positive attitude that this too will pass.

Also during this time I've found out he cheated on his ex multiple times so am now struggling with trust.

Any opinions on this please?

Poor you. It sounds like things have been really tough. I personally think that if all he can think of is himself while you are struggling with a new baby with medical issues it doesn't bode well for the future. I would find the whole texting other women thing pretty unforgivable especially as he has form for cheating.

Sorry that this is happening at a time when you are pretty vulnerable. I don't know whether seeing a therapist could help at all. Personally I wouldn't be wasting anymore time on him. The Dad version of Post Natal Depression sounds like a BS excuse!! If he was depressed he wouldn't be finding the time to flirt with other women.

Do you have family and friends near to where you live. Are you sharing this with them? I hope you have lots of support.

His behaviour was very planned out.
saying call me, don't text my missus might see it confused

That would really bother me.

He might benefit from counselling.

That's disgusting him blaming his dis loyal behaviour on Post natal depression. You carried that child for 9 months, no doubt been doing what you can to care for your baby and deal with his crappy outbursts. What a pathetic man!

user thank you for your comment. I moved 40 miles from my family to be with him & have no friends in this area. A couple of my friends are aware, but I do struggle to reach out to people.

I don't believe him & I don't trust him. I've done a lot for this man (taken out thousands of pounds of debt for him in my name!) so feel shit upon from a great height.

He's made me feel I'm not good enough for him, but I'm slowly realising he's not good enough for me. Apparently he said said I'm sorry so I should be over it by now

It's good that you are starting to see him clearly. He sounds pathetic. Can you shift his debts back to him?

Trust is gone: he's cheated on you and his ex (multiple times), and been a crap partner and father. Has he done much parenting?

He is not worthy of you. It's just a matter of time before his dick ends up in OW, if it hasn't already.

Sort the debts out, take professional advice as to how to extricate yourself and get him the fuck away from you.

Any bloke that acts jealous of a new born is a useless fuckwit

No I think the debt lies with me really how stupid was I!? I do think I need professional advice though.

I am now on statatory maternity pay at the moment so am concerned about how I will manage financially.

What a fucking mess.

Taking on his debt was not your best move but don't let it define the rest of your life. Seek help....there may be something you can do. Don't give up and resign yourself to more of this shit.

Update: I was watching judge rinder don't judge me! & there was an exact case debt wise like mine & basically if it's written & signed by DH that I took that money out for him in my name that it is his responsibility. I will check this though.

I've told him this morning that I want him to do this & he's got very defensive & said im planning to leave him fucking right I am but has agreed. I've managed to smooth him over saying it's because I don't trust him, I'm not planning to leave, & because I have 2 children to support should you decide to fuck off with someone else .

I am planning to go after Christmas & will save everything I have for my running away money.

You reap what you sow in life. Treat someone badly then be prepared to be treated badly.

Good luck, OP