Is he pulling away or just normal?

[Runrabbit1]

Hi

Don't know if I'm over thinking this or my partner is going off the boil.

We don't live together yet as have 4 children between us so decided to stay in seperate houses at the moment.

The only time we have together is a Tuesday night from 6.30pm and every other weekend.

Tuesday night's were so special to us as that was our date night where we have a bottle of bubbly, dress nicely, cook a meal or go out and generally "date" and spend precious time together without the boys. Up until now my partner has always wanted that and we are runners and our club trains on a Tuesday but we didn't go as felt it took up our time together (which is very little) and he was adamant that's how it would be because he wanted our time over anything else.

Last week we went to track as it was summer hols and his parents happened to be here to have the boys and now he says he wants to go every week. This is not like him, he usually wants every bit of our time together and didnt ever want to go to track. I should point that we run every day so its not as if a tuesday is a special running day, only that we get a more focused training.

So I've taken this personally as though he no longer cherishes our time and would rather run.

We have been together nearly 2 years... is this the honeymoon period is over and he's not infatuated with me anymore? Is this normal?
Am I taking it way too personally and over thinking it?
Or is it he's losing interest and no longer enjoys our date nights?

Just need to know if I'm the idiot here or it's a warning sign?

I would find it very hard to maintain a decent relationship where you see each other so seldom and how you've managed for two years frankly amazes me.

I don't think it's necessarily the beginning of the end but it could well be. All you can do is talk to him.

Do you actually see him on the other days of the week, when you're running?

I think after 2 years, things are bound to change.

How well do you communicate generally?

Warning sign defo

Anyway You shouldn't be running 7 days a week, its not safe. Drop to 5 and cross train if you have to . < misses point of thread >

We speak every day and on the other days get 20 mins together before the children are picked up so not a lot!

I have talked to him and he says he just wants to get fitter again... being fobbed off or should I think it's great we have a shared hobby ?

Thanks Kr1stina! I know that but keeps me sane although it's now why I have a bad back!

You are being fobbed off. Training 7 days a week won't make you fitter than training 6 days.

Google "over training "

Follow a proper training programme for your running , with Cross Training , core work and rest days .

See a physio for your back

Keep an eye on Bf situation

Surely the devil is in the detail... does he say he is going to now run on Tuesdays and then shower/eat alone and go to bed? Or not even see you?

Or, run then start your special night a bit later? I would say two years in a bit of 'normal life' is bound to creep in alongside normal life. My experience of dating with kids is that everything becomes compartmentalised which can be a drag.

Depends if your relationship can adjust/how far apart your houses are etc.

Did you just say 'ok' when he said this or did you ask how your date nights will be affected/changed/curtailed etc.?

is there someone attractive on tuesday? has he cooled off you in other ways? does he still want sex?

Yes we will continue the night afterwards but instead of being freshly showered and dressed up, will be red and sweaty and not in a place for romance.

There are hundreds of fit pretty people there yes.

Yes he still wants sex.

He just says he wants to get faster and to get me faster too. Could just be straight down the line genuine but I'm still taking it personally as though the "want" for me is no longer as strong.

What time will you finish your running? Can't you both go back to your place, shower, eat and enjoy your time together then?

So we're talking about something which thus far has happened only once and although he's said he wants to go every week this hasn't become a regular thing yet?

You are way over thinking IMO. Especially if you've been together for two years, the relationship is becoming established and every other part of your lives, including what you do on the night you have together, is scheduled.

It is inevitable that things in a relationship will change anyway, however wanting to do something else rather than the planned dinner/bubbly/sex to a planned schedule does not signify the end. keep an eye and perhaps it is that he's become stuck in a rut, but only time will tell, and this is certainly not evident by a change which has thus far only happened once.