"Treat them mean, keep them keen". Does playing hard to get work?

[AppleBosom]

Do you think that there is any truth in that?
Does ignoring a guy or acting uninterested makes the guy work harder to 'win' you over?
I have found that guys who have to fight or work hard to get a date with a woman, pursuing her for ages seem to value her more.

A guy pursued me so hard at uni, I was oblivious and uninterested anyway.. then I started thinking maybe I should give him a chance after a few of my friends commented that he seems really into me. As soon as I started showing signs of interest he cooled right off. wtf?!

My mum always said that men are dogs and the more you ignore them the more they want you, she also used to say that a woman needs to have pride and ego and not look desperate.
my dad used to say men want what they can't have.

However, my friend who grew up in a different family to mine says that a guy who pursues you hard when you are uninterested is a red flag and a sign of a stalker that if you do get with will end up controlling.
Where is the balance? how do you know if he truly loves you or just wants what he can't get if he spends months or years pursuing you and you don't give in is he genuine then?
I would like to know your opinions and experiences of this.

If you play games you attract people who play games. I just want to be myself. Playing games is exhausting.

Agree with MorrisZap; it's what I do too - or used to do before I married. There's nothing wrong with a little feminine mystique, in my opinion, and something very off-putting about somebody who is too ardent in their affection.

I think everybody should have a bit of distance and reserve, particularly at the start of a relationship. Hard to do sometimes, I know, when you feel the complete opposite, but too much is just too much.

Hmm I don't know apple . My experience has been that if a guy has to ask again and again, in a pushy/ desperate way then he's probably just making himself more and more unattractive to women (and putting himself in the "desperate creep" category)

I was thinking more of long term friends/ colleagues where after quietly "observing" them over a LONG period of time (unknown to them) I've found myself thinking "there's something about them"

It's not the playing a game that attracts men. Unfortunately it's when you are completely on the fence about whether they call again or not, that's when they're interested in my experience.

Sadly if you go out with a man, enjoy his company, are attracted to him and are in any small way hoping they text you again then they sense it or something and aren't interested.

It is this way and always has been............ I feel like I never get to do any choosing. I could 'give in' but I can't choose. So I have been single for a very very very very long time.

very interesting posts. i cant be anyone but myself (too exhausting otherwise) and as a PP said, sometimes a false intimacy is built via messaging.

This can raise expectations of the perceived 'wittiness' or 'style' of potential partner. Being 'on' and replying to a stream of messages is exhausting. Where i have done this the guy has shown to be a love-bomber.....

I turned off WhatsApp read receipts so that id have no idea if a writer was online or not. It was the only way to manage the messaging at my end.

Dating on hold for now but like narlene's take on it.