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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Leaving my partner?!

2 replies

natalie1993 · 03/09/2017 19:03

Sorry for the long post, desperately needing some advice/guidance. I've been with my parter over 6 years but I now don't want to be with him. In the last year or so he has turned into someone i don't know anymore. He has various issues.. one being he can't control his drinking. We have a child together who is 3. He is a good dad but I can't be with him anymore. I need to put myself and our daughter first, I'm just scared to leave. Around 6 months ago things came to a head and me and my daughter left (police were involved due to him making threats etc) stupidly we went back after 3 months and all these promises. I've set my mind now that I want to leave with my daughter but I don't know what to do. Previously he's made threats that he will take our daughter and I won't see her again.. that's what's scaring me the most. Has anyone been through anything similar? Or have any advice please. I have some where to go but he would know where we were and turn up. Thank you x

OP posts:
jeaux90 · 03/09/2017 19:09

Yes my ex used to threaten that. The reality is that he saw her once a week after I left for the first 9 months and now hasn't see her since she was 3. She is 8.

You know this needs to end for her sake and yours. He can't take her and not suffer consequences and I severely doubt he will try.

Can you leave safely? Will go leave and go somewhere or do you want him to go?

AttilaTheMeerkat · 03/09/2017 19:14

It can take several attempts for an abused person to leave their abuser so I am not surprised you went back to him. Do not blame yourself for his actions.

You are right; you need to absolutely put you and your DD first now.

Abusive men use that empty threat to take the child to keep their chosen victim i.e. you here in line. Its something that these types of men often say, you hear it time an d time again. He is a drunkard and has no interest in his DD but will use her happily as punishment for you leaving him.

Leave with your DD and if he turns up ranting and raving phone the police. You do not have to live in fear any more. He is also NOT a good dad to his child if he can and does treat you and in turn his child like this. Decent men do not ever act as he has done.

Womens Aid are also well worth contacting as they can also help you.
0808 2000 247 is the number to call.

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