When is the right time to introduce your child to the new man?

[Scouseweegian]

So here it is, I've been seeing a bloke for nearly six months and I've not yet introduced him to my wee boy. I'm getting increasing pressure from all sides that I should do the meet and greet. The thing is I just don't know when is "Too soon". The ex partner and father of my child introduced his new GF after five weeks which I thought was ridiculas and I believe it was done for a reaction from me. (That failed)
But now I'm being told by the exes mum, sister and family that I should introduce my guy. My friends think it's ridiculas I haven't yet either.
So guys what I'm asking is what do you all think is an acceptable time to do the big meet?

Thanks in advance :)

Stuff the peer pressure, you do it, only when it's right for you. I wanted to be certain my relationship with DP was going somewhere so waited 18 months

I'd say two things. 1. When you're sure, absolutely sure, as you can be. 2. Before child is the only person who hasn't met him.

You don't want to introduce tooearly but also not so late that really you're not going to dump him if he and your child don't get along as he's so in your life. Iyswim

Your child has to grieve his former family.
New partners are always difficult for children. There is no right or wrong way, you decide. Maybe ask your child some question or read about step-families and see how he reacts.

See the relationship between his father and I ended 3 years ago and as he's only 5 it's really tricky.

There is probably no ideal decision in this matter.
You sound a bit anxious. Do you think he will like him?

I've been with my DP 10 months and have not met his DC. To be honest just now i have no burning desire to. I'm sure they are lovely but it is a big step.

I think it's different for everyone. My DS knew DH because we were friends before we ever got together. We got together in the February and DS first saw us as a "couple" that summer. Me and DH have been together 10 years now. Before he proposed he asked DS's permission which I thought was really sweet.

Aye, me & the partner have talked about it and he is fine with meeting my son, I just don't want to bring someone in and then it end. This is the first time I've considered introducing someone to my boy. And the pressure from other people is really irritating me.

You've got a good one there

My DPs mum is putting a lot of pressure on him for me to meet his kids. It's very annoying

This is your life, if you don't want to you don't want to. Are you feeling unsure about your relationship?

Thenaze did it really take 18 months to know that yr relationship was going to last!?

Saying that ive never got past 7 weeks so 18 months sounds to be like it works, you know it works... you know she thinks it works!

Forget introductions until you have that moment where you think "ooh it would be lovely to bring ds out on this excursion dp and I have planned" or similar. When you're ready for it you'll know.

Tell everyone who mentions it to back the fuck off and let you decide what is right for yourself and your child. Make it perfectly clear that you will ask for advice if you want it and they are to keep their opinions to themselves until that day.

People who are not you but feel like they know better than you about you really get on my wick

Trust your instincts. .
I met dh on a Sat night and knew straight away he was the one! Never had a night apart since that night 5 years ago. Married with a toddler.
He met my dc after a fortnight. .
Strange things do happen!!

I knew a relationship wouldn't work unless my DC liked the person and they were kind and respectful toward them so the only way to find out was to introduce them.

However I didn't introduce them until I was sure that we had potential to go the distance and he was introduced to them as a friend first.

I have a friend who waited two years to introduce - they didn't get along at all but by that stage she was so deeply in love with him that she pursued the relationship anyway and caused no end of pain to all concerned.

I think it's up to you but I do also sort of agree with Karma there is a danger of waiting too long being head over heels planning a future then find your dc and do don't get on. My friend has just found herself exactly in this position once the dc were introduced to the relationship it lasted another 2 months he just didn't gel with the dc and the responsibilities of her children. She was devastated.
There is a middle ground and there is no specific time frame for that. I dated severs men when I was single dc never heard any mention of them. When I met dh he met the dc fairly quickly and we are obviously married now so it all worked out well but I didn't do it lightly either when he did meet them we knew we were in something special.

It's so refreshing too see a post where you haven't dived straight in introducing the children.

Do you yourself feel the time is right?
Can you see the relationship working out?
Do you think your child is ready?

It's up to you OP, but personally I think 6 months sounds about right.

My DP met my DD after a year and 4 months, when she was 6 1/2.

I thought it'd be good to get to a stable bit where we'd had some disagreements and learnt how the other is in stress / negative situations. My DD gets attached to people and I knew she'd love him, just wanted to make sure we were longy termy. And they only saw eachother once a week or so until he moved in.

My mum had an affair and moved her new partner in 2 days after my dads tearful departure. He turned out to be violent and abusive, and me and my sibs were teens. I've always had that in the back of my mind since I became a single mother.

Wait til you are sure and your DP is happy to. Everyone else can keep their ideas to themselves, it's not a competition.

18 ish months here.

I always laugh when people say "well you need to know it's going to last, so 6 months or so"... Most abusive men take at least a year, even two, to start showing their true colours. Introducing a child while you are in the throes of the honeymoon period is just stupid imo. That's how kids end up enmeshed in abusive step parent situations

I'm also baffled by the whole " well what if they don't get along, you want to know early" I mean, what kind of grown adult doesn't "get on" with a child? It's not brain surgery surely. Be respectful of the parent/child relationship, be a grown up, and the rest will fall into place.

I think any earlier than a year is really, REALLY risky. But... culturally that seems to be an unpopular opinion.

I ignored everyone who tried to cajole me into introducing earlier. I don't regret it at all. Just because people think they are right doesn't mean they are.

I only introduced one man (very briefly, as in, they saw him, and ignored him) to my kids. It was early but my children are always with me because their dad NEVER takes them. It didn't work, but I don't think that that proves I did the wrong thing. My kids understand that I would like to meet somebody. They understand that if it's not right, you can end it. They know i don't fear being single. They know that I've been single for the bones of ten years and they know I can take a risk and that if it doesn't pay off, I was/will be fine. Lot of assumptions that kids are DAMAGED in some way by their mother introducing a man to their kids. I think posters imagine every single woman who dates as a bit of a kerry katona. I've had a pasting on here for introducing my children to a man, once, in ten years. Utterly ridiculous.

What, have I got this right, it's your ex's family who are pressuring you? Tell them to back the fuck off!!!

Well, you probably won't do that cos you're living in the real world , however at least feel reassured that the best time to introduce them is when you feel it is right!