Namechanged as I am a fairly frequent poster.
Have been with DH for just shy of 10 years. We have two wonderful school aged children. and what is probably considered by most as a good marriage.
Problems began to arise a few years ago. I felt as if I had completely lost my independence. I never saw any of my friends, stayed at home with the children and had absolutely no one. Since then we have both worked towards me regaining my independence and sense of self again.
Since then I have started working full time, which is brilliant. But I look at other couples who have so much more independence from each other. They have friendships and go out separately, enjoy hobbies separately etc etc. I miss that. I miss spending time with my friends and feel guilty if I have a rare night out, because he doesn't do that for himself.
I tried to end things on two separate occasions and both times we stayed together. I am afraid of breaking his heart. He has given so much time and patience to me that it fills me with guilt that I don't want to be with him. He is a good person, wonderful father and generally a good husband.
He requested a few months ago that we give it one last real go, to which I agreed. But my feelings haven't changed. There is no intimacy, no independence, money is always tight because of debts (which he is secretive about). I just don't feel the same as I did.