This isn't ok is it?

[Bonosbiatch]

My husband said to me tonight that because I'm horrible to him (I'm not, quite the opposite), if another woman was nice to him, he'd cheat. Basically saying that it would be my fault. This week he also said that one of his exes was a better friends to him than me. Why would someone say shit like this??

@therealbiscuitaddict I disagree that the instant someone in marriage has a certain thought, any thought, the relationship is over. I'm sure that in relationships that go the distance, people have all sorts of bizarre thoughts. It's what one does after the thought that makes a difference. Some thoughts are a big wake up call that our relationship is in trouble and needs work. People take each other for granted, get overwhelmed between work and kids, get stressed out, change as they mature and soon. In relationships that last, bizarre thoughts are used to bring the attention back to the relationship and to making it great again.

Sometimes that work doesn't work, and it becomes clear that the other person is unwilling or unable to truly be a partner in building a life together. Even then, it wasn't the thought that ended the marriage, the thought brought awareness to the real issue.

Both the OPer and her partner have behaved very badly to each, and seem to lack the skills to speak constructively to each other.

Sounds like he never forgave you for that kiss and checked out of your relationship many moons ago.
And he is likely plotting his 'escape' .

Why does he think you should be the only one having your child overnight? When do you get a break?

Does he have family? I'd speak to them of he has any and her support.

The marriage is really over.