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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

New relationship - when to meet friends and family

10 replies

RunsforCake14 · 02/09/2017 19:51

I've been divorced 3 years after a 20+ year long marriage. So I've not got much experience of dating.
Had a few dates over the last couple of years that went nowhere. Then 6 months ago I met someone and we hit it off straight away. All has been going well. We see each other about once a week.

All my friends know about him and he's met some. But only when we've bumped into them in the pub or out and about.

I haven't met any of his friends. And I'm not sure he's even told any of them about me. Last night he was out at a friend's wedding do. I was home alone. The invite was for him only - fair enough as it was sent out a few months ago. But it's not the first time he's been out with friends and not invited me along.

I asked and he said it was just people from work so I'd find it boring. Probably true but should he ask me rather than just assume I don't want to go? Is 6 months too early in a relationship to worry about these things?

OP posts:
loveyoutothemoon · 02/09/2017 20:00

Not sure what you're expecting here? You weren't invited, you've been together a few months...what more is there to say?

Sequence · 02/09/2017 20:22

I think it's a bit unusual TBH. Can you ask him specifically if you can meet them?

DildoGaggins · 02/09/2017 20:27

Sounds like he sees you as a casual, fun weekend girlfriend. So no need for him to mention you to his friends or invite you to things ect.

TheNaze73 · 02/09/2017 20:32

You've only been together a few months. Just enjoy what you have. All that'll come in good time if the relationship goes somewhere

Persephonebrown · 02/09/2017 21:02

I agree with Sequence... it's a little unusual after 6 months of seeing each other. How much do you know about him? Do you see him at his house or always out?

Sequence · 02/09/2017 22:04

Sorry to have to ask, but are you sure he isn't married/in another relationship?

RunsforCake14 · 02/09/2017 22:10

We usually go out. Or he comes to my house. I've been to his place a few times.
I wasn't expecting an invite to last night's party but when I (jokingly) said "take me as your plus 1" he told me I would just find it boring with work people. So I asked if any of them knew about me and he kind of brushed off the question.
I've asked before if he'd told anyone about me and again he avoids answering.

I just feel a bit confused. On one hand everything is going well but sometimes I do feel like I'm only there to fill in the gaps when he's not out socialising with his mates.

OP posts:
RunsforCake14 · 02/09/2017 22:14

Sequence He's never been married. Very definitely lives alone, judging by the state of his house. Only a couple of long term relationships.

So I'm thinking maybe he doesn't want to introduce me to friends/family just yet as they've probably seen him with a few women over the years.

I'm trying just to relax and enjoy it and see what happens. It just got to me today when I saw lots of Facebook photos of him having a good time last night.

OP posts:
Beentherelefthimgotthetshirt · 02/09/2017 22:21

Can I assume that when you see each other once a week that you have sex? Do you ever have a date without sex? After six months I would have thought you'd be seeing each other more than once a week so I wonder if you've been zoned as an FWB?

That said I didn't introduce my recent ex to my siblings until six months in and no friends met him during our 9 months together. Equally I didn't meet his.

RunsforCake14 · 02/09/2017 22:37

Beenthere we occasionally meet for just a coffee. But often it's an evening out then back to my house. Both of us have busy lives - work, children (me only) and we're both very active in a chosen sport. So we meet when we can.

I wondered about the FWB but then he's just spent a fortune on me for my birthday. And he talks about doing things together in the future, like going on holiday.

OP posts:
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