Is this bad mouthing my Ex or factual

[donners312]

Ex had promised to take DC on holiday at Christmas.

DC want to stay in England as they already have commitments. (they explained this to him not me). They also did not want to go on holiday with Ex's new GF who they really don't like.

So Ex has just sent an email saying he will go on holiday and have the DC next year for xmas instead.

I told the DC "I have just heard back from your Dad and he said he will have you next christmas because he doesn't want to stay in UK for christmas this year"

Both very upset (he always lets them down - he has done this 3rd time in a row now) and i am wondering if i am slagging him off or is it OK to state facts?

out2pasture - it would be quite hard for my ex to try less. He is completely useless and of no use to them as it is! I have no idea how anybody could contribute nothing financially to his childrens lives for two years and then think it acceptable to take them on holiday. I think it is disgusting actually.

Fair point fucking. Actually I've seen that happen with a friends DC. Mine aren't teens yet so I'm not sure when it'll be the right time for their dad to explain himself to them. TBH that's wishful thinking as he never will. Maybe he'll have fucked off by then. Fingers crossed.

TBH I was no contact for a year with him, he even had a harassment order against him as he is abusive and harassed me.

In fact the contact wit the DC is actually about contact with me (long story - but he won't let go of co receive creepy controlling behavior with me).

BUT in court the judge ruled i had to have direct contact with him ,i couldn't believe it and my solicitor said it could NEVER happen. I think it could get overturned if i went back to court. In the meantime i am now subject to the most horrific bullying and my DC also talk to him and try to tell him what the want to do but he doesn't listen it is only what he wants. i have had loads of threads on here, but basically he wants me to pay and facilitate his contact with the DC for example court ordered me to drive 6 hours to take the DC to him!!! He was the one who chose to not live near his DC. It literally goes on and on!!!!!

sorry i had a harassment order against him.

thank you to everyone for the messages as well!!

For example he lied in court that he lived 6 hours away, at his Dm. He saw the DC twice that year.

I have just found out he was living 45 mins away - he could have seen the children at least once a week?

Oh I think I remember your thread about that at the time. Everyone was horrified that it was ordered. What an absolute waste of oxygen. He was 45 minutes away the whole time!! What on earth did he lie for? So when you dropped Dc off 6 hours away was he there??

I have refused to do it - i offered the first month and he said "it wasn't convenient" so i have refused to do it again. i found out this week that he was living at his GF parents house 45 mins away!!!!

I have no idea why he lies but he just cannot help it!! None of it is about seeing the children it is to do with fucking me off? I don't know why i was a good wife, didn't leave for another man two years on still haven't looked at a man. He has a millionaire GF and quite happy so not sure why he won't just leave me alone?

He's a bastard. I can't believe he would have you drive 6 hours when it wasn't even necessary. Disgusting.

donners control. They can't abide it, they can't abide to see us getting on well without them, managing without them, being happy without them. It's ALL about control, XH pulled that stunt too. Prick.

Btw, save all the information about him lying in court. Can you go back and have the order adjusted?

I would have left it for him to explain to them. That way You can't be blamed for slagging him off if he's told them himself. And it also means he's the one taking it away from them not you, why should you deliver bad news?

When they raise it with you just say "your father told me he's going away and will have you next year instead" and change subject

So Dad says lets do this for Xmas
Kids say no
Dad says ok, you do you.
Kids upset?
Why?

They had a choice so whats wrong with making the choice and telling them the impact of it?

And he seems so poor as a Dad anyway. If he only sees them a few times a year they cant have much of a relationship with him anyway. Surely they are happy that they are with mum at Xmas?

Backie - TBH i think i could go back to court but after the last time i decided i ill never go again, i'd rather go to jail!!! Honestly it was so bad and completely unfair. and yes he is a total bastard and doesn't care about his lovely DC and i really do just want him to go away (very far away!!)

Notreallyarsed - it is deftly control, honestly he has done the most bizarre things my solicitor said he was one of the oddest people she had ever dealt with. He really has done some creepy things!

well then he has form. keep on keeping on and do the best you can. as the two are teenagers they will see what kind of person he is....not one of good character obviously.