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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Anyone with experience witb court orders?

11 replies

User2410 · 01/09/2017 19:08

I was just wondering if anyone has gotten a court order with their exH/P for the DC And what happened, what were the circumstances.
I've googled but I don't really know how it works. I think I have to get him to mediation first?
Isit worth doing though when they aren't legally binding? So does that mean he can still mess me about even with a court order. He's a policeman so will this have any effect on his career? Or isit irrelevant. It looks like a ballache. But so is the situation im in. Exh has 2 weeks off from tomorrow and it was agreed he has them for one week (after a massive ordeal seem as he doesn't actually want to have them). He lives with a new gf and doesn't have anywhere to have them so he's saod he will have to have them at my house. This doesn't please me but what else can I do? He's been asking for ages if I will have the kids tomorrow day and night because he wants to take the new gf out. But it's the first and only Saturday I will have free to make plans with friends who aren't at wirk so I said no. Not to be spiteful or awkward. But he's going on holiday Friday and hasn't seen them for nearly 3 weeks. Had the whole of bank holiday free. But apparently me saying no to that isn't me being amicable so now he's decided he won't have them until 6pm tomorrow. Doesn't seem like the end of the world but I just wanted a Saturday to myself I'd made plans.
Sorry I've rambled I just find the situation really unfair.

OP posts:
User2410 · 01/09/2017 19:13

Excuse the typos DS is covering me in stickers!

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MrsBertBibby · 01/09/2017 19:27

I'm afraid an order won't really help you. The courts are mainly about compelling people to allow contact, they don't tend to be good at forcing people to have contact.

It sucks, I know.

And I am a family solicitor, so lots of experience of orders Smile

User2410 · 01/09/2017 19:30

That's really helpful thankyou I've been trying to think of any friends that are family lawyers to ask advise! I just wish I could threaten him with something but there isn't anything I've felt so trapped today. I'm not well so just wanted to rest as I have work Sunday night.

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User2410 · 01/09/2017 19:34

Would a court order look bad for his career or would they not know? I know it sounds petty but I spose it'd make me feel I had some control

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RandomMess · 01/09/2017 19:36

If he doesn't want them you can't force him. All it will do is state when you have to make them available and when he has to return them.

If he doesn't turn up nothing you can do!

User2410 · 01/09/2017 19:39

Jeeze I just didn't think I'd be in this situation with him he makes out to be such a good dad to the outside world. As a new gf I wouldn't think much of a man who didn't want to see his children

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donners312 · 01/09/2017 19:43

yes agree with PP. I have the same problem with my ex.

We have a court order (he took me to court. So for example he wanted to have the DC for 2 weeks during the school holidays. Then refused to have the DC despite the court order he wanted. Then got his brand new GF to have them and he wasn't even there.

Court orders art really worth the paper they are written on IME.

Just try to get him out your life. sorry you are going through this and some people just do not deserve the lovely children they've got!!!

TeachesOfPeaches · 01/09/2017 19:47

Unfortunately there is nothing you can do to enforce contact on a reluctant parent.

User2410 · 01/09/2017 20:10

Can't believe i have to stay somewhere else aswell so he can have them in my house. I want to say don't bother but I have work at night n my mum knows he's off and wants him to have them as they usually stay at hers. N tomorrow night hed just be getting whar he wants if I say leave it.

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RandomMess · 01/09/2017 20:21

You don't have to agree to him having them in your home, who told you that?

User2410 · 01/09/2017 20:27

I know I don't have to but it's either that or him not have them over night

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