Should I keep doing this?

[challengingtimes]

I’m in a LDR with a lovely guy. We have quite a big age gap (I’m older with a DC) which hasn’t seemed to matter that much as we connect really well, but practically it does mean we’re at different stages in our lives.
A couple of months into our relationship, when things were more casual, he chose to move away because he needed a fresh start. I’d known from the outset that this was going to happen, so it wasn’t a shock to me. We decided to keep seeing each other and have become much closer in the last 5 months, visiting each other and talking every day. He says that he loves me, that I make him feel like no one else has, and I know I love and care for him a great deal.
When we’re together it’s so great, but when we’re apart I’m finding it increasingly hard. Part of it is the distance and limited time together, which is getting harder to deal with after each visit and feeling closer to him. But it’s also the reality that I know this isn’t going to be a forever relationship. We’re at such different places in our lives and I don’t think however much we love each other we’re going to get past that in the long term. It just makes me feel so sad. I so want to be the one that he settles down with and has a family with, but I know realistically that won’t happen. The thought of him sharing those things with someone else breaks my heart.
He’s also still working out what he wants in life (which I completely get and accept), but at the same time the uncertainty of being with someone who’s still ‘working it out’ really grates on me. He came back to our home town last week and got to spend time with me, his friends and family. He left saying it had given him a lot to think about over the next month in terms of where he lives and made him realise how much he missed seeing all of us. Three days later he tells me he’s been applying for lots of jobs all over the country, none of which are anywhere near where I live or where he currently lives! At the same time I’m being told how much he loves me, how amazing I am etc.
Part of me feels I need a kick up the backside and just enjoy what we have, what will be will be etc, another part of me feels I should just end this and stop the inevitable hurt.
Reading the above I'm aware I sound somewhat pathetic. Happy to have some sense talked into me …

I think you should worry about the now & enjoy it.

I read so many people fixated on the future, it must be so draining & just means life must pass a lot of people by.

With all the best laid plans, there's always curveballs & you never know what is around the corner. I'd love what you have, time for yourself, time for the gym & some time together. Sounds brilliant.

Could be a case of wanting what we can't have. They'll be someone reading this stuck in a 5 month Velcro relationship suffering with no breathing space, who'd love what you have. Go with the flow & good luck

Why don't you sit down with him and have "the chat". I personally would want to know if I was in his future or not now and not a few more years down the line, causing even more heartbreak x

I agree with usersos - you need to have the chat and find out what he wants long term and whether he sees you as part of that.
How old is he and how long have you been seeing each other?

My guy instinct on reading this post though is that you are probably best cutting ties now before you get more involved and more hurt.

Naze I would love to be that bolshy person who just enjoys what is! You're right, I do get the benefits of time to myself, everything feeling fresh etc. I think on paper it sounds ideal and worked for me very well up to a point, but now I'm feeling the downside of a LDR and wanting more than I can have. Like you say, maybe we all just want what we can't have.
Usersos the chat is probably inevitable, but I'm kind of dreading it. From our conversations I think 'in an ideal world' he'd want us to be together, but I think he's as aware of the limits of it as I am. Ho hum.

What are the limits/obstacles that won't allow you a future together? X

Usersos I'd say the age difference and what it means for where we are in our lives. I'm older and have a child (and don't plan to have any more) which means I'm geographically limited in where I can go, whereas he's still working out what he wants to do/where he wants to live, would ultimately love to travel etc. I've always known that, and I guess it's made me feel that I can't make demands of him as he's at that point in his life where he's still working it all out. What we do have has worked really well so far, but the missing him and then having the possibility dangled in front of me that he could move closer and then having it snatched away again has really got to me.

I think what your ultimately saying is that even if he lived 2 mins away he's still got the same needs that he wants to achieve......?!
Ask him if he sees you in his future......save the mind fuck and heart break!