My kids (3 between 7 and 11) are away with their dad...but just before they went they told me, at dinner time, that they thought they knew why he left (2 years ago...divorce proceedings are dragging).
They'd obviously been discussing it amongst themselves before hand...and the eldest piped up that he thought it was because their dad was seeing his mistress when he was meant to be with us. We'd split up before, but got back together again. This person was known to us beforehand.
I was a bit flabberghasted by this, as it is basically, from my side, how things happened (there was much more that went on, but that was the trigger). I didn't really know what to say as my main concern is protecting the kids. So I just said that what happened is between me and their dad, that it didn't involve them, it was nothing to do with them and that it wasn't their fault. That the reasons as to why we split up only concern me and their father, and is between us. I said that nobody is perfect, neither me nor their father, and I didn't really want to go into why we split up with them as I didn't think it was appropriate and I didn't want them feeling that they had to take sides. I reiterated that all that should matter to them is that both myself and their father love them very much and that we are both their parents, and we both will continue to look after them going forwards.
I don't know how they found out- not from me. They had just got back from their dad's (although I can't see how they could have found out at his) and then left the next day to go on holiday with him and his mistress. They are due to come back from being on holiday with him and his mistress (obviously I don't call her that in front of them, I use her name) and I'm worried that I didn't respond as I should have, and that I might be subject to further questioning. Any feedback/constructive criticism??