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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Woe is me

8 replies

southernharp · 31/08/2017 21:53

Please can I just vent here. I feel like I have a continuous torrent of shit coming at me. My H left me last year. Apparently not happy. OW appears shortly after. An ex friend of mine. All sorts of deceit. Sneaky long haul trips, lots of denial and smoke and mirrors from him. Now he wants her to start to go on 'family' holidays with my kids. Lots of smoke, mirrors and lies. Work is rubbish. I am a teacher and I have had constant aggravation from a couple of families about very little. My ta spends considerable amounts of time gossiping about my private life to anyone who will listen. I applied for a new job in school. New challenge. Didn't even get interviewed and they have appointed someone with less than half my experience because they were 'desperate' apparently. My boss left..then the inspectorate arrived. It seems my boss has been neglecting several parts of his job. I get hauled over the coals for tasks that are nothing to do with me. Hate work. Want to leave. Hate small gossipy community. Want to leave. H resisting me leaving saying he won't give permission for me to take the kids even to the next town. And now I have found out my mums cancer is back and the prognosis is poor. Lost my dad five years ago. No siblings. Other side of the world to my mum.

OP posts:
RidingRossPoldark · 31/08/2017 22:04

How awful for you, very unfair. Vent away.

I think you should leave to wherever has a new job for you, he has no right to stop you and you need to get away from all this negativity in your life. I know it's difficult but try to ignore the TA and annoying families. I'm sure some teacher bods will be along to advise about the inspectorate stuff in a minute. Sorry also about your mum, are you able to visit?

Quartz2208 · 31/08/2017 22:07

You don't need his permission for such a move

Fudgit · 31/08/2017 22:08

Oh lovely I'm sorry, that all sounds seriously shit. Teachers have such a stressful time, have some Flowers and a thank you for what you do. Sounds like it's time for a change work-wise although I appreciate it might be the wrong time of year. Maybe try some supply teaching for a while and look out for something more permanent?
Your H has no right at all to stop you moving, at least within a certain radius.
And more Flowers about your mum too.

southernharp · 31/08/2017 22:15

I have applied for a few jobs and I am waiting to hear. Can't afford the risk of supply. Too many commitments and 11 year old twins.

OP posts:
Dappledsunlight · 31/08/2017 22:17

Southern harp, just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear of your difficulties. Do you have any close, trustworthy friends to console and support you. Sympathise about the gossipy TA. Have had experience of similar and they can be bloody meddlesome nuisances these people. Is there any way you can drop a hint that you're aware she is gossiping?

But you have more serious issues to face. Suggest you consider moving jobs if possible as you need to reduce your stress to face the other things going on atm. Agree, H doesn't get to say what do.

RidingRossPoldark · 01/09/2017 13:37

Hope you are ok, southernharp. It may seem that there are lots of things happening that beyond your control but sometimes it takes one little change to kickstart a new beginning. I hope you persevere with the job search-it could be it that little change that'll do the trick for you. All the best...

MollyWantsACracker · 01/09/2017 14:53

Just wanted to send you Flowers and possibly a large Gin

You are in a tough corner at the moment, but you will be ok. I'm wishing you luck and strength.

user1497997754 · 01/09/2017 16:47

Don't let him dictate to you it's your life live it how and where you want to...he sounds very controlling...good luck with the jobs

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