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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I don't know how much longer I can go.

34 replies

hattiesmumm · 31/08/2017 18:07

I absolutely adore my partner. Love him so so much. He's an amazing dad to our daughter and my two children.

The problem is our sex life, or lack of. I'm becoming desperate. We have it probably once every 7-10days. When we have it, it's so awkward and over with quickly. We've been together 4 years nearly and he's given me oral 3 times. He doesnt let me give him
Oral. When we first started dating I did, and lots!

I'm so fed up. He doesn't let me touch him. Nothing seems to "get him in the mood" unless it's his time to sort himself out. He doesn't wank (unless he does it at work?!).

It's making me so depressed. Sex is a big thing to me, and due to lack of it my confidence is so low.

It's ridiculous. Iv tried talking to him but he doesn't change. He says he hates it when I "pressure him"?!

He's only slept with two women before me, one time each.

I don't know what to do 😭

OP posts:
Doublemint · 31/08/2017 20:34

Hope you're ok OP?

Putyourhandsintheair · 31/08/2017 21:26
Flowers
Westiegirl3 · 31/08/2017 21:48

All sounds very frustrating, hope you can get things sorted

hattiesmumm · 02/09/2017 12:35

Sorry! Been mad here.

He cried, said he's feeling very depressed, suffering anxiety. I'm taking him doctors. He just doesn't seem happy at all lately, he's stressed about work/money/providing. Said he feels a failure. Which I don't understand, we have a lovely life, house and family. He said he feels really lonely because his family are rubbish and he has no friends 😔

OP posts:
Fudgit · 02/09/2017 12:47

His family as in parents/ siblings I'm guessing rather than you and the kids?
As tough as this is, it sounds like a really good breakthrough. You're both being honest about the problem and no longer coasting along. I hope the doctor is helpful.

ferrier · 02/09/2017 14:13

At least you have something to work on.
ADs could make him feel a while lot better. Having shared with you could also be a big breakthrough in terms of making him feel good again.
Just be aware that some ADs reduce libido.

ferrier · 02/09/2017 14:14

whole not while

Doublemint · 02/09/2017 22:26

Oh bless him! Depression and anxiety can make any kind of sex drive take a complete nosedive! Then he will be feeling anxious and low about not satisfying you/ making you feel insecure and he feels more depressed and anxious etc etc and he feeds his own monster.

Good luck at the Drs OP

Ysolla · 02/09/2017 23:34

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