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Original poster

I feel so so lonely

10 replies

NCforhelpp · 31/08/2017 10:25

I've NC for this
I'm 26 weeks pregnant, I'm a single mum to my other two DC. Their dad is really supportive and looks after me and DC both financially and emotionally. He has another GF who is lovely and although they haven't been together for long they have just moved in together. I live on my own with the DC and I feel so lonely.
I still love their dad and I miss him so much not being here and even though he's still there and cares for me and I have a good relationship with both him and his GF it's killing me with him not being here in our home.

I don't feel I'm coping, all I do is cry and I can't understand or pinpoint exactly why.
I just don't know what to do anymore

OP posts:
SuperSkyRocketing · 31/08/2017 11:45

Can you get some support through counselling? I know it won't help the loneliness as such right now but it could help you to see the wood from the trees.

Original poster
NCforhelpp · 31/08/2017 12:48

I've seen the GP and asked for it, their first thought was to put me on antidepressants which I don't want to take

OP posts:
NotMyPenguin · 31/08/2017 13:22

Sorry if I have misinterpreted, but do you mean you are still in a relationship, but an open one?

Re the loneliness, in any case, I strongly recommend building your support networks. This will stand you in better stead than antidepressants! I was very lucky to find a wonderful mothers group, run by a psychotherapist, which was a great source of friendship and support in the early days with a baby when I was a single mother.

fannycraddock72 · 31/08/2017 13:27

If i read this correctly you and your DC's dad are no longer together but he is supporting you in other ways eg financially and having the kids. But is now has a new GF?

drbeverlyhofstadter · 31/08/2017 13:55

Also confused ? Who is the father of the baby you are currently pregnant with and where is he ?

jeaux90 · 31/08/2017 14:09

I think you need some clearer boundaries with your ex. When he sees his kids he takes them out etc you are no longer together and as one single mum to another you know your support network needs to not be reliant on him.

Try meet ups etc and as trite as this sounds you need to get comfortable in your own skin and company. It's the best gift you can give yourself. I found the early years the hardest. I found it got easier when my kid got to 4 or 5 years old.

You are currently pregnant. Is he the father?

Original poster
NCforhelpp · 31/08/2017 15:05

Sorry for the confusion he is the father, we are not together, he's with someone else.

To not drop feed any further I'll just explain a bit of backstory we haven't been together for a while, we have two DC together but have always maintained a close friendship for the DC, I moved out of our home when we split to my parents. The one I'm carrying was the result of a one off hook up and he met his now GF before we both knew I was pregnant (I didn't find out until I was 3 months).
I go get on with his GF, we have even taken the DC out all together, and they really like her.
As I said they have just moved in together so I could move back into what was our home (always stayed on tenancy) for more space with DC and for when the baby comes.
His GF is extremely supportive and I am genuinely happy for them and my issue isn't with them two it's just loneliness in general.
I think it's the first time without having actual adult company and I'm feeling really low.

I hope this clears up any confusion, sorry for the drop feed, should have explained in more detail in my OP

OP posts:
Original poster
NCforhelpp · 31/08/2017 15:08

Also just to add, when I told him I was pregnant he was honest with his GF (they weren't an item at the time, just in the 'seeing each other' stages of that makes sense) she had the option to not get involved and leave but she chose to be with him and support both of us. I have to take my hat off to her though, it can't be easy for her and I understand that. Probably why we both get on so well is we have respect for each other

OP posts:
NotMyPenguin · 31/08/2017 20:59

That sounds like a really tough situation to be in, and I'm not surprised that you feel lonely when the father of your child isn't with you and is with somebody else -- especially when you still see him and his new GF (even if she is nice).

Pregnancy is such an emotional time, too, with all the hormones kicking in. I remember feeling really similar in my first pregnancy, when I was in a similar situation and single.

Do you have other close friends who you can share your feelings with or spend time with?

Original poster
NCforhelpp · 31/08/2017 21:18

I don't have a lot of friends to be honest. I've spoken to my sister, I'm quite close with her and she listens. But she also works long hours so understandably isn't around so much

OP posts:
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