I have a sister who has two children, quite a big age gap. One is 12 and the other is 5. Every time she visits the children are allowed to run amok, wrecking, throwing things around. The older child does not do this any longer, but now the younger child does. The older child though interrupts adults when they are talking and can be very childish and immature. I have never heard my sister ever say no to either of her children. She sits there whilst they run around, irritating the adults, breaking things and running amok. She never brings anything for them to do, and they seem incapable of sitting quietly unless the TV is on.
Reading this back, i sound very victorian, but really I am not. I am just exhausted by her visits. Usually left fixing something which has been broken . She is resentful that we don't ask her to stay more often, but I find the visits exhausting, stressful and draining. I know what hard work children can be, but the complete absence of any discipline or intervention is annoying. She seems to have no awareness of other people's feelings as the children pull and poke them, hide their stuff and generally are a bloody pain in the neck. They are essentially nice children, just allowed to do what they like, unchecked.