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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I am not sure if i should worry about this but i do

33 replies

chocolatecookiess · 30/08/2017 21:01

Hello. I am with DP for two years. We have plans for him to move in with me at the beginning of the new year and later start a family. There is something that bothers me , i keep telling myself that i am overreacting and i push it at the back of my mind . But its there all the time .
DP is on his thirties. It seems to me that there is something odd (?) about the frequency and the reasons that he changes jobs.
I must say that he never claimed benefits (i know for sure that he hasnt since we met, as for before that he says he never did) and never asked me for any money . And he seems to work hard , at least thats what i think. But since i met him he changed 4 (or 5 ,not sure) jobs
When i met him he was working for a company related to his field. I though that everything was fine but one day out of the blue he decided to leave and change town to pursue " a better future". From what he said later , the company didnt gave him the opportunities he needed etc. Ok so far seemed reasonable to me
Then he found job number 2. This lasted a month or so. He seemed fine with it but soon started complaining that it was physically very hard and was hurting his body causing him aches etc and he left
Then job number 3. This lasted couple weeks if i remember right. The manager didnt like him and something happened (cant remember details) and asked him to leave
I am not sure if there was one more and then he ended up in his current job. He is there 6 months and he started complaining about it from the beginning . The manager didnt like him, then this changed to they dont pay enough etc. But he stayed nevertheless. The last few weeks they made them work 6 days a week , long shifts.and he is exhausted and now this became the reason for him to want to quit
I am 40 and i changed in twenty years less jobs than he did in two years
On the other hand i keep telling myself that his reasons are valid (do i fool myself here?) and there is not reason for me to find this odd

OP posts:
LondonNicki · 30/08/2017 23:02

and (sorry to pile it on!) like aqua said he will do the same with you when issues arise..you will be at fault/the bad guy. Its incredibly frustrating to live with someone like this. Sorry.

chocolatecookiess · 30/08/2017 23:06

I dont think that he mentions everything on his CV, from what i figured from things he said , he is just trying to make sure that doesnt show long gaps between jobs. He also has one or two recommendation letters from previous jobs but yet no one lasted more than 7-8 months and this makes things even more confusing. He is also saying that whenever has an interview he will always gets the job because he knows how to win them and what are the right things to say. When i met him he said he had just finished a college degree and had all these plans about making his own business etc he even told me that he had the plans ready to go. He never followed through and i assumed that he either was trying to impress me either just something happened and he postponed it.

OP posts:
chocolatecookiess · 30/08/2017 23:08

thank you all for the replies Flowers I need to open my eyes and face the truth if this is a red flag

OP posts:
LondonNicki · 30/08/2017 23:23

hmmmmmm

....at his business idea.

I hope it works out for the best for you and these replies have helped xxx

ImperialBlether · 30/08/2017 23:28

Oh no, this kind of bloke ALWAYS wants to start his own business. With a loan to get it going, of course... Why on earth would anyone think he was going to stick at his own business when he can't stick a normal job?

ImperialBlether · 30/08/2017 23:28

He is also saying that whenever has an interview he will always gets the job because he knows how to win them and what are the right things to say.

Hate to say it, but he thinks this about you, too.

Elvisrocks · 30/08/2017 23:37

Under no circumstance would I move in with him: he is after a meal ticket. Huge red flag.

Putyourhandsintheair · 31/08/2017 06:29

Red flag. Huge red flag.

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