Am I crazy???

[Lily0588]

Hi everyone, so this is the first time I've ever been on a site like this. I think I may need some advice from people who don't know me. So coming up to a year ago I met someone after being single for 2 years and being heartbroken from my last relationship I was finally ready to get involved with someone again, when I met him he had just returned from living in oz for a year him and his ex girlfriend both went separately after breaking up he came home and she stayed, so once he was home we met (the day after) I thought it was fate we had a connection (well so thought) things devolved quickly dating to more or less in a full committed relationship, he met my daughter she's 6 something I don't take lightly but I felt it was right, he was basically living with me. He told me he had to go to court this one day he was vague about it, so after 6 months of being together I was worried he may end up going to jail (as he told me that could happen) the next day I went to the court thinking he was there. No sign of him! So I then went to his fathers house to find out where he was I was worried, his dad then began to tell me he had gone back to oz that morning he was never needed in court it was a lie. I was devastated. He eventually contacted me telling me he would be home in 3 months and he was sorry he had to leave for other reasons. I accepted and forgave him. I then found out that he had been contacting his ex (who still lived in oz) once I found this out he blocked me cut me off told me I was crazy he was never with me, so I left things as broken-hearted as I was. After 6 months of him leaving I received a message "hi how's things? I'm coming home in 2 weeks thought we could meet for a coffee bury the hatchet" I was so shocked! I'd never had any real answers from him! His plans soon changed and he decided to stay in oz and basically told me oh I don't need to talk to you again I'm not coming home and I was again blocked. It has drove me insane I've contact him numerous times sent him messages trying to get answers using any way possible to contact him as I was blocked. All this has really effected me and I'm even more hurt that he knows I have a child to also take care of along with this emotional trauma. Any thoughts sorry to bore you 😩

Well he's a massive wanker and you sound desperate. Just block and move on. Work on yourself esteem. He's got nothing to offer you.

Why on earth would you even waste your time trying to contact this total loser who is playing you for a fool?! You will NEVER get "answers" from him - just more lies. Block him and move on.

He's a twat. Why are you wasting your time like this?

Most women would think, "Wow, what a twat. I'm better off without him!" Not try and chase him down.

Why on earth did you forgive him when he lied to you about going to court and instead went back to his girlfriend in Australia? Why on earth didn't you tell him to fuck off, or just ignore him like anyone else would have when he got back in touch?

I know you're hurting, but you need to take some responsibility here for you own life, decisions and (re)actions.

Utter twat.

Block him and move on - as hard as that it. He's not going to be who he first appeared to be.

Move on. He sees you as no more than a glorified wanksock

I know it's hard to take but for him to go off without a word he obviously didn't care about your feelings. He's after somewhere to stay. I wouldn't dignify his message with a response- block him now.

Oh god girl. Do you realise what a lucky escape you've had?! He's shown you his true colours, hard to accept I know, but you WILL survive.

You're worth so much more..believe that and you'll be fine

He is on the other side of the world. No point in contacting him.

Find a decent man. Someone who cares about you, loves you and wants to be with you. Stop wasting your time over this utter waste of space. How could you ever trust him? Ever have a meaningful relationship with him?
You couldn't. Move on. You've had a lucky escape.

He's a dickhead. That's your answer. It sounds like he just thought you were convenient. He obviously thinks the same of his ex/gf. He'll do it again with the next person he meets when he comes back. It's him, not you. Sorry it hurts though.

Within 6 months of meeting him he was "basically living with" you and your 6 yr old daughter? Seriously??

He didn't have the courage or decency to admit to you that he was going to the other sure of the world and instead told you he was probably going to prison.

He has messed you around even from the other side of the world.

And you're still trying to chase him for answers??

Seriously?? You need to take the blinkers off and see this guy for what he is. And think carefully about who you move in with your young child.

I'm not belittling your story OP, but it sounds just like the Vicar of Dibley episode where the vicar really falls for a guy who then goes back to his girlfriend.
Please forget about this man - he is wasting your time.

Dear me OP. Please don't contact him again, or accept contact from him.

He's proven to you over and over that he doesn't tell the truth - so stop asking him to tell you the truth! I doubt he even knows what the truth is anymore. He sounds really troubled and not normal in the slightest.

Please in future be really careful. You can't just let strange men come and stay in your house when you have a small dd. That's extremely risky behavior. That's how little girls end up being victimized

You aren't going to get answers from him, he isn't going to make you feel better, so stop contacting him. When you feel the urge to contact, change the subject in your head and do something nice for yourself instead. Pick up something crafty, draw something, watch funny videos on your phone. If you distract yourself, you'll eventually stop thinking about him.

Sorry but you let a man move into your house when you had a young DD AND you were under the impression that he was going the court for an offence for which he might have gone to prison - and you were OK with that? What offence did you think he had committed?

I know that this is brutal but you've been completely played by this man He isn't going to give you any answers. Why would he give you any? Out of a sense of decency?? If he had an ounce of decency he would have just told you that he was returning to Australia but of course that would have risked his cushy little number with you which is why he lied.The only way he's going to contact you is if he lands back in the U.K and wants somewhere to stay. So, harden your heart and move on.....or at least pretend to move on and one day you'll wake up and it won't feel quite so painful. ( I am sorry though OP but he sounds like a class A bastard and you should consider you've had a lucky escape)