What have you compromised on?

[NancyFrank]

Me and Dp have been together over 8 years and live together, we are getting married next year. The issue is it seems in some ways we want different things, we both want children later on (currently in our mid twenties) but he's very worried about needing to 'do stuff' before we do. He worries at the thought of settling in one place and being boring 'at our age'. He recently had an amazing weekend in London and is now desperate to live there for a bit before we have children. The problem is I don't think I want to do that, I don't know anyone there and would rather 'settle' in a city where our friends are. Maybe I should suggest travelling or some exciting holidays? What have you compromised to make your partner happy, or vice versa? I really wouldn't want to lose him over this as I love him and in the long run we want the same but I really don't want to move there!

What do you actually want? Do you want to travel? If so, where and how? Forget what he wants for a minute and be honest with yourself. It sounds a bit forced from you tbh, like "I'm being spontaneous!", which is why you need to think about what you actually want to do.

Is he having a bit of a panic about life seeming grown up all of a sudden - getting married , settling down , making a home etc.
It's not he doesn't want you but is scared that it gets sensible from now on.

Suggest exploring the world. Say if you mo e to London the living costs would be so high you wouldn't be able to enjoy what it has to offer or go on holiday else where.

Plan some trips. Make a things to do in the next three years so it doesn't seem all wedding and then nothing.

It sounds like this is a recent thing rather than a long term difference of wants and needs.

Silver I think that's exactly it, he is very clear he wants to do everything with me not without me but gets frustrated at the thought I just want to settle down and have children. I'm not ready for children yet either it just doesn't scare me anywhere near as much as him, the idea of 'sensible adult' life. I suffer with anxiety so the thought of moving somewhere just for the sake of 'the exciting atmosphere' really does scare me!
Thank you for the advice I will definitely do that!