Hello Im feeling raw n devastated im hopin writin it will help me move on.On 25th last friday I discovered my not so true love was in a gay relationship.I do early shifts on friday my daughter was unwell so I couldnt go to work,I normally leave my phone at home for kids to play on apps.at 7.30 am my phone rang it was a man he was shocked to hear my voice was abusive to me.Wanted to know who I was was so nasty to me.He then told me his was deans partner n hadnt he told me.He even laughed at me.Told me he had HIV....
I was in shock hung up went straight to my partner who was in bed told him about the call.Went away hopin hed get up n sort the situation.He took awhile in fact to get up knowin what had happened.He denied it lol but wasnt very shocked or insulted showed no emotion.Wasnt even bothered the man had been so vile n nasty.Alarm bells n tight knot feelin in my gut said the truth.I told him to leave he did didnt defend himself at all.Im left scared hurt destroyed he was the one who helped me to have faith in relationship when I didnt trust.I have always needed to keep walls up as Ive been cheated on b4.With dean I actually trusted him.I am left to pick up the mess n cope n not able to greive.I was supposed to get hiv test done today but kept cryin n goin outside would make it worse.Plan is tomorrow mornin.im so very lost lonely 😑