First of all just want to say, my friend, up to this point, has been reliable and never let me down, I need to put that here so this makes sense.
We have been best friends for six years now, in this time she has been in another long term relationship and was still a brilliant friend, never once backed out of plans etc.
A friend has recently met a new man. They met in February this year so still early days. Within two weeks, her boyfriend had declared love. She does not want children and he did, within three weeks he said that he would give up having kids as he couldn't live without my friend. Obviously, she is my best friend and I think she is brilliant but it didn't feel right for me. She is 26 and he is 27 so it's not like a couple of teenagers. She told me she said it back to him (I love you) but wasn't sure and felt she had to say it back. I felt like this was a massive red flag but didn't say anything.
New years eve 2016 me and her booked a week holiday for my 30th birthday this year (we are going today) obviously she was single at the time, I am married but very much looking forward to it. I've been excited too, haven't been abroad for a couple of years. Last week she suddenly said she didn't have enough money and would have to cancel. Very unlike her, she is off several times a year and saves fine. I said ok, I'll try to sell the holiday on a buy sell group but by the time the admin fees are gone and it being such short notice I doubt we'd get much money back. She suddenly backed down and found the money.
Since February I have seen her twice. We usually see each other twice a month (I work in health care, she does nights but we've always managed) and we message most days, now, rarely. Last week we were meant to go to the cinema and she texts to say she couldn't go as I was getting ready. Yesterday night she was meant to stay over before leaving today for the holiday to do my nails (She can do them gel nails) again, let me down last night. On the way back from the airport we had planned to have a breakfast (we land early) then just mooch around the airport and get the train home, now her partner is coming to collect us. This is fine, but this keeps happening, we visited Ireland on the one rare time I saw her and he again insisted on picking us up. When he met us at arrivals, he didn't even look at me, said hi to my friend, she went to the toilet and we stood and waited for her. I asked how he had been and he mumbled a reply then walked off to the shop. Very odd. As we walked to the car he then grabbed her and snogged with me standing there like a lemon, she has always been anti-PDA anyway so this was just awful.
The car journey home was excruciating, she kept speaking to me every so often but he didn't say a word.
The two times I have seen her as well since then she is non-stop on her phone, she has never been like this, rarely logs into FB or any social media. Since she met him the phone is super glued to her. We only went away three nights to Ireland and he phoned every night and they'd be on the phone an hour each time as well as multiple snap chats/texts.
My concerns are that I think these could all be red flags of him being quite controlling? My husband is on fairly good terms with her to and says I should mention it but I don't think I should as I could be reading the situation completely wrong. Sorry, this is long, I am off to the airport at 16:30 with this friend and am already dreading the holiday as I think it will just be her on her phone all the time. Needed some wise advice from Mumsnetters!