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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Can't live with him, can't live without him.

9 replies

longwaytogoandabitfurther · 01/04/2007 21:31

For those of you who have followed any previous threads you will knwo the history but h has lost his license till christmas so in order to look after dc he has to stay here, but when he's here it just totally unsettles me again.

We have argued more since christmas than we have in 16 yrs of marriage, i just don't understand where it all went so very, very wrong.

When he's been here I just spend the whole day in tears.

He says he's been to solicitors to enquire about a divorce. How can someone change so much? He has spent 20 months telling me how much he loves me and now says he doesn't and hasn't.

I'm probably not making much sense but just feel so alone, scared, annoyed, fearful for the future.

Just wish I could escape to a desert island.

now to top it all he thinks its ok to drink again after not touching it for 20yrs after being an alcholic and being addicted to over counter/prescription drugs for last 11 yrs.

OP posts:
Original poster
longwaytogoandabitfurther · 01/04/2007 21:49

no one round then

OP posts:
fireflyfairy2 · 01/04/2007 21:52

What's the story?

Had you seperated & he was living elsewhere? Or has this just came out of the blue?

Sorry, I don't recognise your username so I probably don't know your story at all

Original poster
longwaytogoandabitfurther · 01/04/2007 22:02

he now lives 20 miles away through choice after deciding he doesn;t love me anymore, after i took him back when he had an affair.

We lost jobs, car house the lot, he insisted it was me he loved so we bought a house, now he has moved out saying he doesn't love me has acted like a right waster for months and now he's gone he has to stay over in order to look after children so I can go to work etc, but it just ends in argunments coz his behaviour hasn't changed one bit.

OP posts:
Original poster
longwaytogoandabitfurther · 01/04/2007 22:04

he is selfish, has typical addict behaviour but can't see it. Has now swapped tramadol/codiene addict for alchol after nearly dying 4 days before christmas

OP posts:
lulumama · 01/04/2007 22:05

do you want to live with him ,make it work, sounds unbelievably heart breaking, and unsettling and frightening

Original poster
longwaytogoandabitfurther · 01/04/2007 22:07

no i don't he has taken things too far this time, I don't know what is truth and what is lies anymore but my babies - it breaks my heart, I can't stop crying just having an unbelievable crap day today.

OP posts:
lulumama · 01/04/2007 22:09

oh dear, i guess you need to come to terms with living without him then,although by the sounds of things, he is doing himself in with pills and alcohol

you must be very strong to get out of the relationship

not terribly good at this sort of thread, but i hope you get the help and support you need in RL too x

fireflyfairy2 · 01/04/2007 22:11

He sounds like a waste of space

When he stays over, where does he sleep? Is he trying to work his way back into your affections again?

He sounds like he doesn't really know what he wants.

Original poster
longwaytogoandabitfurther · 01/04/2007 22:22

no he sleeps on settee, no way is he trying to get into my bed again. he doesn't love me, he doesn't want me, why, why, why

OP posts:
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