My partner of 6 months has depression, but I'm starting to develop feelings for my friend, help!

[Rambler17]

I've been with my partner for 6 months, and it's been an intense time. I've learnt a lot about my partner and there are some deep rooted issues there. It's been hard for us and I find her negativity draining, also she is never satisfied or content with everything in life I.e. Work, exercise etc.

However, I've been meeting a friend fairly recently over the past two months and I'm starting to have feelings, but I feel awful that I feel this way. I do love my partner but when I meet up with this friend I want to spend significant time with her and we have been getting closer.

Help....

I'd say your relationship with your current partner has run its course. Do the right thing and break it off so you can explore your feelings with your friend.

It's only been six months! You can easily back away before it really is too late. It sounds like your partner is an emotional vampire and you need to get out of their fast!

I'd put off meeting your friend for a while and Finish with your partner before you start anything new.

It just feels like she is down over everything, little things become a big challenge and I have to invest time after time and yet still not a change in her outlook.

My friend is fresh and spontaneous. She is refreshing but is never act on anything until it's over with my partner. However, I'm torn about what to do.

Do you often flit from relationship to relationship ??

If your having doubts now then ditch. Are you living with each other ?

@Imonlyfuckinghuman

No, I try to give each relationship 110% but then they end and I usually have time to myself before finding someone new. I think this is why this crossover is confusing me.

Just dump her. 6 months is nothing and it doesn't exactly sound like barrel of laughs......

6 months is someone you're seeing; a girlfriend at most.

Calling her your partner has created a sense of commitment tjat jist shouldn't be there yet.

It's fine to walk away.

My partner had MH issues depression that spiralled into schizophrenia.I felt responsible for him in the end like a parent and I tried to help him at my expense 8.5 years first year was good the rest was all about his illness and I lost a bit of myself.Would never be in that position again.Think of you it's not selfish and being true will help your partner develop and move on.Looking back I enabled my ex and should have called it off years ago.

Best to end the relationship and move on. I couldn't deal with that after a mere 6 months and would find it draining.

FFS, dump your partner.

It was only four months and you started with feelings for someone else? FGS! 16 weeks? It is very clearly not a 'partnership'.

I'd have a serious think about why you jumped in with both feet. Finish with her and I wouldn't jump to the next thing until I'd worked out what was going on for me.

Bin her off. She sounds draining

You clearly don't want to be in this relationship anymore so end it before you cheat on her.

TBH, I suspect there's nothing in it with the friend, it's just that you're comparing a depressed person with a non-depressed person and (surprise!) the non-depressed person seems cheerier.

I just think she has a lot of hang ups and to keep her above board is draining. She is rather stubborn and I have to protest the points far to much. I feel like her mum ordering around and being on her case all the time but I have too.

When I'm with my friend, it's much easier, no fuss just a fun time. No additional ads ons or trying to gauge what's what! Just an easy, fun time.

So, like everyone has said, chuck the girlfriend you don't have a good time with and ask out the friend with whom you have fun. Easy.

It is absolutely fine to say that a six month relationship has run its course. Most do to be fair.

End it now in a kind but final fashion. No "let's be friends and see what the future holds" nonsense. Tell her straight up. You care for her but you do not see a long term future. Wish her well and move on.

Enjoy being single for a while.

Your situation reminds me of my history. Was good friends with someone, always enjoyed his company. Was seeing someone else for about 6/7 months who became very dependant on me. Phone calls in the middle of the night to talk through his worries etc. It finished and just a month later, I got together with my friend. Who happened to be a mutual friend with ex. A few uncomfortable months ensued but all was then ok.

21 years, a wedding and 2 dc later, we are still together.

Follow your heart.

@Finola1step

That's a nice ending to your story! Leaves hope for the rest of us!

This friend has been present for the whole time I've been with my partner. I'm just getting to know her a bit better and we do have a tiny bit of history, feeling there in the past but never developed, I met my partner around a few weeks later.

I've had a good time with my partner, but I'm not equip to keep her afloat all the time. She has major priorities to work, fitness etc and I find her negativity draining. There is always an issue and I pull back and it causes issues. I think the future will be demanding and I'm not entirely sure we want the same things but emotionally I do have a connection with her but her issues overrule all of our connections.

Why would you continue in a relationship of relatively short duration, when there are clear compatibility issues? This new fun friend is obviously the catalyst for something you should have ended already.

I don't think you've confused, you just don't want to be the 'bad guy' and you're looking for reassurance from us that you aren't. Which is strange since the whole point of dating is to test your compatibility but you have appeared to have pushed your gf into DP mode after just six weeks, even when you were attracted to someone.

You don't any reason except for 'I want to' to end a relationship. It might be a good idea to stop writing about all the things about her you see as faults, failings and negatives. It's unfair to her and unwarranted.

Leave if it's not right. It's six months, not six years and two kids later. But own it. Stop going on about how you support her and she's a burden. That's as much your boundaries as it is her depression.