Just lonely and tearful

[completelylost17]

I'm sorry I don't really have anyone else to talk to. I have name changed because I'm completely embarrassed.
Today has been so awful. I've had a long petty argument rumbling along all day with my partner, it ended up with me telling him I feel we're only together because of our children at the moment and our relationship is so unhappy at the moment.
He stormed off to bed and stayed there the rest of the day until our two kids were in bed and it all started up again. We bickered again and he started shouting. He called me a slag, he hates me, he grabbed my face and shook my head so I told him to leave and he's gone.
I'm crying in bed now and I feel so alone. The worst thing is I'm 30 weeks pregnant and I'm so ashamed. So many times I see women on here and wonder why they have children with men like that and I'm one of them. I hate myself at the moment. I can't stop crying, I can't catch my breath. Thankfully my children are still sleeping.
Sorry for a pointless post I just don't know what to do. I'm so unhappy.

he has assaulted you, you better contact police or women's aid asap. you have young kids, you are pregnant, you are very vulnerable. xx.

WTAF?
He's called OP a slag, stormed over and grabbed her face and he was shouting "Will you listen to me now?? I fucking hate you".

OP, DO NOT do couples counselling with this man. He does not respect you or any woman and never will. You need to get out of this relationship, the abuse only ever escalates with time. No amount of talking things through or communicating better will improve things.

Good god, what is it with minimising domestic violence on this thread?

crazyhorses3, couples counselling is not for cases of DV.

Did you read this:

He called me a slag, he hates me, he grabbed my face and shook my head... shouting "Will you listen to me now. I fucking hate you."

... and you think they need "a better way to work together"?!

Referring to OP's experience "hurting each other" is plain wrong. And dangerous.

*as "hurting...

How are you feeling this morning OP?
Please consider calling the police and change the locks on your house. Maybe call womens aid for some more support

Hi everyone.
I woke up to a couple of really odd voicemails. He was saying "I can explain" and "I want to come home" over and over, its really unsettling. He didn't come back so I'm assuming he went to his mum's but I don't really have a relationship with her and don't feel I can phone to check and I don't feel ready to engage in another conversation with him at the moment.
I feel totally drained today. I couldn't sleep very much and I keep wanting to cry today. I have an appointment with my midwife tomorrow afternoon so I will be able to talk to her then.

It must be so exhausting, especially whilst pregnant. It's really good you have an appointment with your midwife.
Sorry to repeat myself, but I think it's still worrying that he could return to your house and get angry again.
Here's a page of the Women's Aid website, which may be useful:
www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/recognising-domestic-abuse/

I'm so sorry you are in this situation OP. His behaviour is shockingly bad. PP's are right - you are very vulnerable at the moment.

Do ring 101 today to report what happened and they can give you support from the DV unit. And call Women's Aid - they will help keep you safe. When I went through something like this they came and changed the locks on our house - I instantly felt safer. Keep posting

If you are frightened OP do report him to the Police. Have you any real life support, a friendor family member who can come over and you can talk to?

Hope that your midwife appointment was helpful completely and that you have some support in place.