Dp just said this

[thatsmehere]

That he would rather loose everything ( including me and our dc) than be stuck taking medication all his life that has caused him to gain weight. He has a very serious mental health condition but had been ok since he's been on his medication. Today though he has been obsessing over his weight and has just blurted that out. I told him if he stopped taking his meds he could end up losing me and dc and job etc but he doesn't care. I'm really hurt by this

He needs therapy.

You've taken it out of context I think.

Yes it's hurtful, but it's also hurtful to threaten to take his family away from him so I think it was more of a reaction to that.

If he's taking large doses of steroids, they can affect his mood. He needs to speak to his consultant /gp.

I haven't threatened to take his family away! I'm basically saying if he becomes dangerous off his meds then we will have to distance ourselves for our own safety! I cannot bring our children up in a dangerous household he knows this

He sounds like he needs some professional help

He's taking antipsychotics not steroids

I can totally see where you are coming from but at the same time it's probably what it sounds like to him. It's an awful situation for you. My brother was severely mentally ill and I know you'll be so worried about him not taking his meds.

I'm really sorry but it might also be worth seeing this from his point of view. Anti psychotics can be horrible to some people, really life destroying (and also wonderful for other people) please listen to him if he's unhappy with his needs. His psychiatrist may be able to offer others or he may be able to access therapy.

I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt to you but was more trying to communicate the seriousness of his feelings

His dr keeps telling him to take his meds even though he's having side effects. We're seeking a new dr though as he isn't helping at all. I'm sat in tears now as I'm so worried he will get really ill if he stops his medication suddenly

I should be medicated. I'm climbing the walls with anxiety. It's affecting my work and my family but I can't go back to being like a big fat zombie. Ok I am struggling but I am in control of my body for once I'm not shovelling shit into my face because I don't care that eating a whole large dominoes pizza with about 5000 calories washed down with a bottle of fat coke because I'm too numb to care. I'm not going back to that.

I can understand where your dh is coming from and whilst I also understand how worrying this is from you it is his body. Please don't underestimate the feeling of helplessness that come with having to rely on meds.

I am managing, just! But do appreciate that your dh may not be and it must be so worrying.

He needs to be assessed and then put on new meds or dosage change. People with severe mh problems can come out with pretty horrible things. I've been done that road and it's hell I can tell you. But you're right in thinking you shouldn't have to raise you dc in a dangerous situation. So need to push for the new doctor asap. Good luck.

His doctor sounds like an arsehole. They aren't all like that.

Thinking of you

I can see this from both sides, and agree that he needs a different doctor or perhaps a change to his treatment plan.
He is prioritising himself having no med side effects over his family.
Of course you will need to think about your DCs. Sure he can take that the wrong way. You'd be called a horrible mother here if you blindly supported a potentially dangerous and psychotic father instead of keeping your DCs safe.

I wouldnt take him literally on this. I wouldnt take it personally. He is trying to express how badly the meds make him feel. My dh has bipolar and he goes through phases of being upset over his meds. He was a very skinny guy and it is upsetting to gain weight simply due to meds. My dh tries to exercise as much as he can but the meds hinder that as he doesnt have as much energy as he would like. Try to ignore that rash statement and focus on him vetting his meds reviewed. You have my sympathy as sometimes its not easy living with someone who depends on these kind of meds.

He's clearly feeling desperate about the weight. I suspect when that issue is sorted, he'll be thinking more rationally. There are antipsychotics that have less of an impact on weight. I would see another doctor and talk through the options.

My brother is on antipsychotics and has got a lot better but still has a long way to go to being fully recovered. He has always been very fit and healthy running marathons and going the gym etc and he despises the weight gain so much. His doctor is fantastic but there is only so much they can do as apparently all the antipsychotics have weight gain as a side effect. He feels he would be better off without despite how awful he was before his meds. How long has he been on them for? Can you just try and motivate him that the weight gain is temporary but if he stops them too soon he'll be back to square one? Or are they a permanent fixture?

teebee my brother tried one that had a lesser impact on weight and his anxiety went through the roof. It seems like the meds for mental health problems have some of the most cruel side effects

But not everyone experiences the same side effects (or other medications can off-set them) so it may be working with a health care professional who is happy to help him fine tune his medication.

He did swap his meds once but he was becoming very paranoid on them so changed back. He goes to the gym a lot and eats very healthily but whatever he's doing is showing no effect on his weight.

I've read that metformin is thought, by some researchers, to counteract AP weight gain. Might be worth looking at.

Is it Risperidone ? If so the weight gain due to to stimulated appetite can be horrendous. There are other anti psychotics with good effects but without the weight gain

Antipsychotics are horrendous to take, I feel so sorry for people who have to rely on them.

Is he not being offered any psychological treatments to help with his mental health? I've done some really good work with clients who have psychotic illness, it's definitely possible to make a difference.

Having said that, there are far worse things in life than being fat.