DP not coming - feel sad and frustrated

[demeaned]

Since the very first time we slept together my DP hasnt been able to come via penetration and it makes me feel insecure, sad and frustrated with him. I just end up finishing him off in other ways if you get me.

I dont understand it as i know hes attracted to me and gets hard and stays hard really easily. Ive read about the whole death grip thing and its possible theres some of that from before our relationship but he hasn't been watching porn i don't think, or at least not enough for that to be the main cause. Its possible thats just how hes used to doing it, and as someone who finds it difficult to quieten his mind, its possible he finds it difficult to switch off enough to let himself go if you get me.

Its a horrible feeling and i know i should just discuss it with him but i would just feel terrible if it ended up being somehow my fault (not attractive enough, not doing a good enough job, who knows).

Its so sad because we have a great old time together, we love and respect each other, everything really, its just this.

It would help to hear if anyone else has been in this situation and what you did about it

If he is able to finish in other ways, it's not because he finds it difficult to quieten his mind or switch off enough to let go.

What does he say about it?

Death grip.

You are not responsible for this - it's not your fault and you definitely shouldn't be feeling bad about it!

If he's able to finish in other ways it's also not because he thinks you're not attractive enough or not doing a good enough job.

I think it'll be difficult to address the issue without talking to him about it. He must be aware of it, so if you raise it he won't be completely blindsided.

Maybe talking about it will make things a bit better? At least you might understand each other.

could it be his fear of getting you pregnant?

Perhaps stop finishing him off other ways and him agree to abstain from wanking for a while. See if his sensitivity resets.

OP - imagine a man posted this:
'My GF doesn't come from PIV sex. Only from clitorial stimulation...Feel so inadequate...'

And imagine what we'd all have said to him - people aren't different. They come the way they come. It's nothing you are doing wrong....

If your BF gets hard and stays hard during sex with you - he is attracted and you are doing it the way he likes it.
As to how he comes - and what he is used to - you can't blame him, or yourself.
You can - and should open up and talk about these things. If you want to get closer and understand him.

Orgasm is an orgasm is an orgasm.

PIV or oral, or hand-made - are all great ways to get there!!!!
If he likes to come this way - and wants to do it with you - he is into you!!!!

@Josuk I imagine that if a man posted this the response wouldn't be as kind.

"Stop making her orgasm about you."
"Let go of your ego."
"You're not as great as you think you are."
"Would you rather she faked it?"

@BadHatter --- 😂😂😂