I think I need to leave but scared, help.

[pinkgoo]

I don't even know where to start but for a long time I have been unhappy. But I am so scared of taking that final step. Of hurting my children, of making a mistake.
My OH wants to make it work, but I just don't feel anything anymore. I have had years of feeling like a caged animal too a point now where my every move is scrutinised. He has a very vocal hatred of my mother which upsets me no end. He tells me I am selfish to the family for going on a diet, that i'm lazy (even though I work full time), I gave my career up for him, I lost money because of him. He is jealous of the time I spend with our children as I should be focusing on us. We don't sleep together anymore which causes major arguments, but I just don't want to. It goes on and on. But he is the first person I call to tell something and that worries me.
I'm sorry this is all over the place, but that's where my head is.
Anyone with any kind of advice please.

Your relationship doesn't sound healthy and it doesn't sound like he's making you happy at all. Relationships are supposed to be happy, not every second but the majority of the time. You are not there to be controlled by a "man" who is jealous of the time you spend with his own children.

Stop listening to the shit that comes out of his mouth and start standing up for yourself. You are not lazy, you work full time and look after your kids. He's saying these things to make you believe they are true, don't for a second believe them it's just to control you.

Sounds as though you have been worn down over the years. Criticism, hatred of your family and lack of empathy for you are not things most people want in a partner. When he says he wants to make things work, does really jsut mean he wants you to do all the changing to meet what he wants?

Thankyou, I know what you say is true. I hope everyday things will change. I have trouble even writing on here though as I monitored constantly at home. I have been putting money aside so I can leave its just I keep moving the goal post. Today is a down day as I was cross examined last night about talking to my mum, and this morning for not having my engagement ring on. Don't want to go home :(

I was you a year ago. I'd coped for over 20 years. I was lazy and stupid, despite the fact that he'd never made a packed lunch, done a school run, cooked a meal. Please get out, you're not giving your children a good relationship model and they too will choose partners like this should you stay. Think about how happy they will be when there is no fear of upsetting him, no walking on eggshells, no hiding your tracks, no jealousy of the time you spend with them. They will appreciate you more and you will have more to give.

Can you stay with your mum or a friend whilst you think about leaving him? I think you do need to leave sweetie. This isn't a healthy relationship