Feel trapped by my life

[Farontothemaddingcrowd]

I feel exhausted and joyless. I'm a single parent but there are days when I genuinely wish I could just walk away. I love my dc dearly anx i know I am lucky that ex H has them every other weekend. But I'm finding that I'm not looking forward to them coming home. The 3 of them argue a lot and I feel useless and inadequate as a parent. I just want some space to be alone. I see this as the rest of my life for however many years and I know I'm terrible for feeling this way. They are my dc and I should love every moment with them and I am v v lucky to have the summer hols off with them.

Really feel for you.
I'm a lone parent dad no involvement with dd so just been me doing everything.
Like you I didn't sign up for this and have bought up dd alone from a baby and it's so hard lost myself pretty much as all my time energy and money goes on dd.
At least kids back to school next week will getting back to a routine make things easier?

The week off is amazing. I really really feel for you. I can't imagine what it would be like to be a lone parent, so hard having kids really did my head in, I got very depressed. I'm a WFHM so it's a constant, constant workload. Drag yourself to the doctors and see what they say. You could end up on AD's that might really really help. Bit out there but vitamin D deficiency symptoms are very similar to depression. A high quality vitamin could also be very helpful. Remember, loads and loads of people are in the same boat.

I am hoping the back to work routine will help a lot. I was deficient in b12, iron and folates last time I was tested and I'm waiting for the results of another blood test. I've opted for paid childcare after school rather than asking ex mil to do pick ups. That should help a bit. I have ordered a slow cooker.

Hi - I'm an introvert too and the headspace thing really rang a bell. I only had one now 20 and I wasn't a single parent. I don't think I would cope well in your situation at all!. But some answers might be found in changing the dynamics in your family. What about giving the older one a sense of responsibility so she can help you more? Stroppiness can sometimes indicate they want more quality attention. Perhaps do some reading on family dynamics to see if you can alter the arguments. It's easy to get ground down and fall into resistance/avoidance tactics - which just makes things worse. I might also suggest upping your exercise - if you do any - to give you energy - running or stationary cycling classes. I know you have said your ex won't coopperate, but again perhaps asking him in a completely different way, non-complaining and explaining that you want the best for your children, as you both do, but you need him to help, perhaps offer to help him sort his house/flat out a bit. Apologies if I'm completely off here - obviously I don't know anything about him. I feel for you.

My ex doesn't ever have my two children and I feel this exact same way. Having little or no support can make you feel so trapped and drained. I don't have any advice but I just wanted to say that there are others out there feeling the same way, you aren't alone

Zombie. Start a new thread @Sparkles so you get replies.

Do you make plans on the weekends you are free to do nice things?

You aren't alone op. I have 3 dc and really struggle with having no time alone. I look forward to going to the bathroom in peace. I dread bank hols and inset days. I love them but in my lowest moments I feel utterly trapped and question the choices I have made.

Hi. My situation is very similar to yours. I was wondering if things have got any better. I know it’s been a few years since you originally posted but I can’t see any light at the end of the tunnel.

Jusy wanted to say it was such a relief to read this as i feel very lpw today. Am a single parent and i just feel so tired and drained and i feel powerless to change things for the better. Lone parent to a hyperactive 5 year old boy am almost 40 and i just feel burnt out :( no advice to be honest but i think in my head 12 more years then ill get my life back. Freedom and the ability to actually do things i wantt to do instead of things i HAVE to. Xx i feel your pain

Hi - just stumbled across my old thread. My 11 year old is now 16 and it turns out she was autistic and her behaviour did get more challenging as she hit puberty. It partly explains why things were so tough back then. She has recently decided to live at her dad’s 30 minutes away which has given me a breather. I wish I had considered the possibility of additional needs earlier.

I am married now and my two younger dc are doing really well and are easy to look after!

Aw, that's so good to hear.

My mum struggled with us as kids and it turns out I'm ND but not dx'd until my 40s. She wouldn't have considered and still doesn't actually that it's me struggling, more naughty!

It's good you've got things more sorted!

Who says you should love every moment with your kids? I doubt anyone with children would say that they love it when their kids are fighting, arguing with each other or with their parent. It's hard work, and there's no need to feel guilty for wanting a bit of space. You're still YOU even if you have kids. You're still a person with feelings, wants, needs etc, not just 'a parent'.