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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Would this bother you?

8 replies

duckyisback · 27/08/2017 20:27

Have been seeing a guy 6 months after leaving an abusive marriage. This has left me with a lot of anxiety and I tend to over think things a lot.

I do have some trust issues, and am on a waiting list for the freedom programme which will hopefully help with this.

Something happened this weekend that has bothered me a little with the new guy and I'm not sure if I'm over reacting.

It's a long distance relationship so we only see each other usually Friday/sat/sun every 3/4 weeks.

He was over mine this weekend, on the Friday he was going on that he needs to book another visit to canada soon to see all his friends over there. Then on Sunday he said he needed to message his friend in Canada and check she was ok due to the hurricane. He was right next to me and I glanced over and just seen one message to her saying 'hope your ok, I love you' with little love hearts after it. She messaged back saying 'I'm fine, thank you for checking up on me I love you too' followed by loads of hearts.

I then sat around over thinking it. I looked on her instagram page and there seems to be a lot of flirting going on during the first 3 months when I was with him but it stopped on there then.

Am I over thinking? She's in a different country. Feel I have lost my ability to judge things like this properly at the moment.

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 27/08/2017 20:29

I'd be wary of this, I have to say.

PsychoPumpkin · 27/08/2017 20:30

I wouldn't feel comfortable with this.

Gaggleofgirls · 27/08/2017 20:31

Hmm I wouldn't be happy. Sounds like serial long distance boyfriend? I'd be concerned this is another girlfriend sorry. Maybe call her and see?

Pallisers · 27/08/2017 20:32

the hurricane was in Texas - no hurricanes this weekend in Canada.

What you describe would make me slow everything way down tbh.

JontyDoggle37 · 27/08/2017 20:33

If you don't feel comfortable, then it's not ok. You don't have to follow any rules about what should/shouldn't be ok. If it's not ok enough for you to post here, then it's not ok. Back away fast.

Barbaro · 27/08/2017 21:04

What pallisers said. I would just tell him to have a nice life with her to be honest and walk away.

duckyisback · 27/08/2017 21:36

Thank you everyone. I thought I was just over reacting.

Sorry I meant to say Texas, he was talking about Canada a lot too.

He seems to message a lot of girls.

Spose I got a bad egg again!

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 27/08/2017 21:57

The trouble when you're long distance from the start (or even at all, really) is that you have to trust so much in what they say they're doing.

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